Read Pampered to Death by Laura Levine Online

pampered-to-death

Jaine Austen is looking forward to an indulgent spa getaway - until she learns it's more about deprivation that relaxation. Between miniscule meals and a deadly brush with fame, surviving this vacation will be no piece of cake....

Title : Pampered to Death
Author :
Rating :
ISBN : 9780758238474
Format Type : Hardcover
Number of Pages : 228 Pages
Status : Available For Download
Last checked : 21 Minutes ago!

Pampered to Death Reviews

  • Zyra
    2019-01-23 21:04

    Makes for wonderful light & cozy reads.

  • Ellie
    2019-02-02 16:51

    There's lots of disagreement, I notice, in the various reviews of Laura Levine's Jaine Austen series, sometimes even in the reviews of one book. Pampered to Death certainly ran a range of 2 to 5 stars. But generally all of them, from the lowest to the highest agreed that the book made them smile whether it was/was not the best in the series and that Levine is funny. Jaine is funny. Her parents are funny. Even her cat Prozac is funny, in the usual unfunny cat way that cats have. I could say I agreed with all the reviews. In this 10th entry in the Austen series, Jaine's narcisstic friend Lance gives her the gift of an all-paid week stay at an exlusive spa. Jaine is extremely excited until it turns out that it's a strict "fat farm"-replete with a "fat vat" and a group of fellow inmates (including the owner, her maid, and the teen-age cook) that makes you wonder why it took as long as it did for someone to be murdered.The list of suspects is almost longer than the list of characters.And I will say that the book is somewhat shallow and predictable with lots of cheap shots, every one of which I loved. Or close enough. Combine the greatest fantasy-the pampering luxury of a spa- with everyone's worst fear (all right, my worst fear-a boot camp weight loss facility pretending to be something else-and I'm already hooked. The pace is brisk, the writing clean, and I was a happy camper.Certainly a lot happier than the campers at the "spa." I'd recommend it. Heck, I'm going to read it again. Only I think I'll wait for a thinner day (no pun intended. I think.).

  • Luffy
    2019-01-19 17:05

    A half decent mystery book - there are so many, much worse ones - Pampered To Death scores in the humor department. The you've got mail chapters are a hoot, but then Laura Levine was in cahoots with someone (she mentioned that in her foreword) to chip in with the jokes. I did anticipate the unveiling of the murderer, but it was glaringly easy and I can't be proud of that epiphany. This book was the shortest of the first ten, for which I'm grateful, as it was all meat and no filler. Shame that the meat was not of prime quality. Gotta go now lambchop( I must say it, the caps lock gag was laugh out loud funny), I'm feeling peckish.

  • Dawn Frazier
    2019-02-02 20:07

    I love this series!

  • Jeanne Stephens
    2019-01-27 22:54

    Jaine got a thank you gift from Lance. It was a week long visit to an exclusive spa. However, when she arrived, the spa was not at all what Jaine expected. This latest Jaine Austen mystery by Laura Levine, will keep you laughing all the way to the bookstore to buy another! Levine's wit is peppered throughout the book. Her spoiled darling cat, Prozac's antics will keep you in stitches as well as the emails from her parents who retired to a community in Florida called, Tampa Vistas. I highly recommend this book and all in this series.

  • Michele
    2019-01-30 21:08

    I am a big fan of Laura Levine's books; they are light and laugh-out-loud funny! I have read the whole Jaine Austin series and find each one delightful.This one was a particular favorite of mine because of the character involvement by Jaine's cat, Prozac.I think I own a very close relative of Prozac by the name of Mae-Mae.The mystery was fresh and the laughs were forthcoming throughout the book.I would recommend this to anyone looking for a light, fun read.Completely unoffensive and sheer delight.I look forward to the next in the series.

  • Lucy Hannigan
    2019-02-18 21:59

    I think I've read all the book in this Jane Austen series--no, not 'the' Jane Austen, this Jane Austen is a struggling writer who solves murder cases on the side...though actually, its probably the other way around. She never has enough money, she eats too much and has to wear elastic waist jeans, has the most obnoxious cat (I would have killed the cat after the first book), and has the best looking neighbor who is, of course, gay. I read these books for fun. There is no redeeming value to any of them.

  • Erin L
    2019-01-23 15:43

    Jaine does her thing in this book - she bumbles around, accusing people of murder and gets herself in trouble. It's a novel way to solve a crime and I have to wonder why the police weren't around this crazy spa trying to solve the murder themselves.The damned cat is kind of funny, especially with the koi, but like the previous book, some of the shtick wears thin after awhile. Lance is a devious one though.

  • Gerry
    2019-02-10 22:57

    My friend Babs recommended this one and I had to find out for myself what a "fat vat" is. I've heard about spas where the rich and famous go to be pampered and I've heard about the "fat camps" where you pay to be locked away from food.What a shock to think you're getting one and get the other!Funny too.

  • Julie
    2019-01-19 15:46

    My least favorite of this series. Just not the usual laughs that I usually get from reading these books. However, I remain a fan and look forward to the next in the series.

  • Phebe
    2019-02-01 21:57

    Enough with the catI think of this series as a after dinner snack. Something light after the meal, but I'm really tired of the cat. Full disclosure I'm not a cat person. Otherwise, still a nice treat to read

  • Kathy Maher
    2019-02-08 17:02

    It was a cute book and a quick read.

  • Michelle
    2019-02-08 23:04

    A fun cozy.

  • Terry Pellegrino
    2019-02-04 18:07

    Very fun!! Can't wait to read more in the series :)

  • Lisa MacMullen
    2019-02-01 18:52

    I always enjoy the books in this series. Laugh-out-loud good!

  • Nancy Narma
    2019-01-26 21:52

    After Jaine Austen gets next door neighbor, Lance Venable off the hook for a murder rap, he surprises her with a gift of an all-expense paid week at “The Haven “ Spa (which is supposed to be the “crème de la crème” of spas) for both Jaine and her spoiled feline companion, Prozac. Jaine had envisioned a luxurious week of pampering from head to toes, fantastic dining and a chance to completely relax and unwind. Imagine her surprise when the Spa and its “services” are not at all like she expected, especially the shock ofa 900 calories a day diet! You will be introduced (as Jaine was) to a zany group of guests and staff; Olga Truitt; the hard-nosed owner/operator who wears many hats over her gray braid to try to make the spa run smoothly, chatty, Piggly-Wiggly bagger; Cathy Kane, aging starlet; Mallory Francis with her snarly Peke “Armani”, Mallory’s personal hairStylist; Harvy, Mallory’s personal assistant as well as dowdy sister; Kendra , A-List hunky movie star; Clint Masters plus “The Haven Staff” –Shawna and Sven; the aerobicsInstructors and Delphine; the enterprising maid. As Jaine counts down the hours until she is free from this “Diet Hell” and its improvement programs, Mallory is discovered strangled to death by seaweed in her spa cubicle! Everyone casts suspicious looks at each other, Jaine included, who dons her part-time P.I. cap and searches for clues herself. Her private investigation is punctuated by hilarious emails from her Mom and Dad, detailingher Dad’s “Save the Gnomes” Presidential Campaign. Who could have done this dastardly deed?? Clint? Whose career could be destroyed? Shawna? The misused and forgiving wife of Sven? Harvy? Whose dream of his own beauty salon might end up to be a pipe-dream? Kendra? Who is tired of living in her sister’s and sometimes even Armani the dog’s shadow? Or Olga, tired of the guest abuse she endures. Every time you think you have this solved, Ms. Levine throws a curve ball. Will Jaine find love in a very unexpected place? Will you ever look at a lawn gnome again without chuckling? You’ll love following Jaine’s escapades and I bet you hope (as I do), that there is another Jaine Austen adventure coming soon. This was a very easy, thoroughly enjoyable read. Nancy Narma

  • Jane Night
    2019-01-26 16:53

    Pampered to Death is one of the books I have most enjoyed in the Jaine Austen mystery series. I am about halfway through the series and while I have yet to find one that I didn’t enjoy at least some many were not as fun as Pampered to Death.I need to explain that one of the reasons I found this book so appealing is that I am overweight. Women without an unhealthy obsession with food may not relate to this book the way I did. Jaine takes the ideas and emotions of a dieting woman to the extreme and I thought it was hilarious. I also can totally relate to the frustration of being the most out of shape person in a workout group (though for anyone interested I actually do go to the gym 3 times a week and eat fairly healthy these days).The Jaine Austen series as a whole has a humor much like classic television. The situations are more extreme than realistic much like I Love Lucy, the Munsters, etc.Examples: Not only is all the food light and carb free but the resort’s cook is basically a teen with a summer job who manages to cook the food into tasteless lumps. So, Jaine isn’t just stuck eating fish and chicken but eating fish and chicken that have been cooked to wet tasteless slime.If you are looking for a realistic book this isn’t it. Pampered to Death is outlandishly funny and entertaining.The main complaint I have about this book was the solution to the mystery. I have found that many of the Jaine Austen books are hit or miss in the mystery department with more misses than hits.The solution to the mystery wouldn’t have been too bad except that the author has used the same or similar twists at the end of a few other books in the series and it felt really old. I wanted to roll my eyes once I realized what was happening.Still, this book was worth the read for entertainment value.

  • Kathy
    2019-01-27 18:05

    In this, the twelfth book in the series, Jaine Austen is sent to enjoy a vacation at a luxurious spa, The Haven. Little does she know when she receives this gift from her friend, Lance, (as a way of saying thanks for clearing him of murder) that said spa is actually a diet spa, a diet spa where she is subjected to a diet Nazi insistent on serving celery fizzes, a teen chef hoping to use his talent of turning every protein into a glob of grey as a way to work his way up to a job at Applebee's, and a much lusted after but little loved B-list actress insistent on making everyone's lives miserable. When said actress winds up dead, strangled with her own seaweed wrap, Jaine's escape plans are halted. In order to escape diet Hell, and even perhaps save her own life, Jaine must don her part-time semi-professional P.I. hat and uncover the identity of the killer. Ms. Levine's Jaine Austen series is always a good laugh. This may be the best of the series so far. Jaine's sarcastic humor and self-deprecating wit are in fine form. Prozac is up to her usual narcissistic and troublesome tricks. Jaine's father is once again embroiled in a battle royale with Lydia Pinkus, president of the Tampa Vistas Homeowner's Association. All the things that make the books in this series so interesting are out in full force. Add to that a new found confidence and drive in Jaine (probably due to her desire, no need, to break free from The Haven), and this book actually becomes that much more enjoyable. Definitely a fun read for those who enjoy a good cozy laced with George Clooney fantasies and midnight ice cream runs.

  • Stacey Pagan
    2019-01-18 21:56

    Pampered to Death is the second novel I’ve read by Levine and I have to say, I love her style. The first person dialogue along with the emails that she receives from her parents crack me up! I’d love to see a novel of Janie going to FL to visit with her parents and see what would progress! Janie’s friend gifts her a week stay at The Haven, a “swellegant spa for the rich and famous.” However, poor Janie wasn’t informed that it this is a spa to help the clients lose weight. After six plus hours of driving, she arrives starving, and she assumed it would serve excellent five course meals; instantly Janie is miserable at The Haven when she finds out what her friend has done, as is Prozac, her spastic cat. She realizes that the diet Nazi Olga is going to keep her on a strict 900 calories a day diet, as well as Prozac. Famous Mallory soon arrives and is a total witch to all around her. She feels that since she was, at one point, famous that all should stoop and kiss her feet, but Janie doesn’t play Mallory’s game. Mallory is soon killed off and the guests at The Haven are not permitted to leave until they find the killer. Therefore, Janie puts herself into the detective shoes and is on a mission to find out who killed Mallory in order to leave to woof down a couple pastrami sandwiches.Levine’s use of first person is excellent; it pulls you into the story, making you feel as if you are right there, being told the story! She doesn’t pull any stops when it comes to how plus size people feel, yet adds humor to the feelings! I have thoroughly enjoyed this novel and will recommend it to other friends!

  • Bridget
    2019-02-02 19:04

    I had an Advance Readers' Copy of this book and decided to give it a try after a few pretty intense reads. It's apparently #10 in this series, and I've not read any of the others, so I had no idea what to expect. The heroine, Jaine Austen, is a professional writer for trade magazines, and a self-described part-time private investigator. A friend and neighbor has given her an all-expenses paid visit to a well-known spa called The Haven, and as the story begins, she is on her way there, excited at the prospect of a week at a spa, living the good life. Arrangements have also been made for her cat, Prozac, to accompany her.Upon arrival, there are two unexpected developments: the place has seen better days, and it's a spa for those who need to lose weight! Instead of the luxurious meals, and restful days, Jaine will be eating 300 calories at every meal, followed by intensive workouts. She is less than thrilled with the others visiting the spa, though when a B-list actress and her entourage arrive, things get more interesting. This book was fine. Not great, not awful. Pleasant enough, and a quick read. I have no desire to go out of my way to read others in the series, though. If you think it sounds like something you would enjoy, I'd suggest trying to get a copy at the library; I don't know I that I would want to buy it.

  • Lisa
    2019-02-11 22:10

    Jaine Austen and her cat Prozac are treated to several days at a spa by her friend Lance as a thank-you. While there, a guest is murdered, so Jaine's amateur sleuthing skills are put to the test. I'll admit the premise of this story was entertaining enough, and it moved quicker than any other book of hers I have read. However, the cat's safety was endangered on numerous occasions, and I just can't stomach that. Never, would I dream of taking my cat on vacation with me, nor would I stay there once someone was murdered. And, never in a million years would I permit my cat to stay someplace dangerous - no matter how much it was costing someone. I was far too concerned about Prozac to truly enjoy this story. I figured out who the murderer(s) was/were very early in the story (although I didn't have all the details worked out), which always kinda ruins a story for me. The French phrases quickly grew old, although I am happy to say her elastic-waistband pants were only mentioned a couple of times. Once again, I'll reserve this author for times when I'm desperate for reading material as it's hard for me to read about the danger Prozac is placed in.

  • Kaye
    2019-02-04 21:52

    Jaine Austen (no relation) is presented with a deluxe spa getaway by her friend Lance, she and her cat Prozac hit the road. However, when she arrives she finds it's a fat farm, with diet food, exercise, and public weigh-ins, everything Jaine hates. They even put Prozac on s diet! Not to mention that Olga, the owner, is beyond strict, making it difficult to sneak food in, and the maid is selling goodies for a huge profit. Jaine's fellow inmates, uh, companions aren't her choice of company either. Then when B-list movie star Mallory Francis is strangled during a seaweed wrap, things really get interesting. I love this series, it's funny, both the main story and the e-mails Jaine exchanges with her parents. I can hardly wait for the next one.

  • Angela Kinder
    2019-01-23 21:48

    I think this is the first book I've ever read in 2 hours. I couldn't put it down. Jaine's stay at a health spa (that best friend Lance tricked her into) turns into a murder mystery when a bitchy A-Lister turns up dead and everyone is a suspect. I couldn't put it down because I wanted to see what was tomorrow's dinner or today's lunch. I wanted to see Prozac in all of his meowing glory. I wanted to know who offed the Hollywood princess. Would Jaine finally get past (view spoiler)[Olga (hide spoiler)] or end up going up the stairs empty-handed? Can Jaine find out who murdered the actress while keeping herself alive? I will say this- I have never loved my cat (and my brownies) more!Sorry if this review doesn't make a lot of sense. I'm coming off a MAJOR caffeine high. LOL

  • Nese
    2019-02-03 18:53

    The story of a handful of quirky characters in a “fat farm” is so entertaining and hilarious, the murder mystery is so well-written, and Jaine’s cat, Prozac, is as adorable as ever in this book. As usual poor Jaine can’t get a break, expecting to be pampered in a luxuries spa for a week but finding out it is not a spa but a “fat farm” where she and Prozac are starved and forced to exercise by a “diet Nazi” while the owner eats cheesecake and candy hiding in the kitchen. Since she is not allowed to leave the spa, where she has to make do with 300 calories per meal and 900 calories per day, until the killer is identified, she has no choice but to start investigating. Also there may be a romantic interest in Jaine's future.

  • Lindsay
    2019-02-05 18:40

    I hadn't been impressed with her other recent books, but this one was pretty good. Like always, the cat and the emails from the parents are still the best part. In this one, Jaine's friend Lance gives her a free week at a wonderful spa. Or so she thinks. Once she gets there (with her cat, who takes their cat with them to a spa?)she realizes that its actually a fat person spa where people can go to lose weight. Its also where some B-list celebs go to get away. One person is Mallory who ends up dead and of course she had found a way to make everyone around her hate her, so Jaine tries to find out who killed her so that the police will let her go home and away from Diet Hell. The storyline was a good idea and there wasn't a bunch of characters like in most mystery books.

  • Jackie
    2019-01-20 21:52

    I really enjoy the Jaine Austen Mystery series, so I probably shouldn't be considered an unbaised reviewer. I find Laura Levine's first person narrative engaging and laugh out loud funny at times. Who can resist at least a smile when you have a cat named Prozac in the story? (Even funnier is Jaine's mom who can never seem to remember her grandcat's name and has called her Valium and Xanax in other books within this series). I have found the mystery better than most of the others books in the previous series, so that was a pleasant surprise. However, even for me (!) this story was a bit too food oriented. I hope her romance with the deli guy she met while at the spa will continue in future installments.

  • bella
    2019-01-30 16:05

    I like this cozy mystery series because it is light and fluffy and has a great dose of laughs.The latest installment, Pampered to Death, did not disappoint. This time Jaine and her cat, Prozac, are off to a health spa. As she tries to find cheesecake and chocolate bars and avoid celery fizz drinks, Jaine gets caught up in the murder of a hollywood actress.This time it's Jaine AND Prozac that are trying to solve the case, and its a laugh-a-minute.I really liked this one, especially since there is a hint of romance for Jaine. Poor Jaine needs some romance.I can't wait for the next book to come out in September!

  • Victoria
    2019-01-26 16:52

    If you are after a light hearted read that you dont need to think about or analyse this could be for you. Laura Levine, the author, certainly has the ability to make every other line an amusing one. She has created a private detective Jaine Austen, who has a sense of humour and a fat cat. There are more than 8 books in the series; I pulled this one off the library shelves for something lighthearted. In this story the P.I. is hold up in a health farm eating grass and drinking zuccinni juice, which, she hates. Someone gets bumped off and of course she solves the mystery. Look, its an amusing read but dont expect 'profound literature'.

  • Paula
    2019-02-03 19:40

    Lance has treated Jaine and Prozac to a spa. Jaine thinks it will be nice to get away and just relax. Prozac protests the whole drive and when they check in to the resort, Jaine realizes it's a health spa! She wants to kill Lance but he won't answer the phone.Jaine is joined by a movie star Mallory and her two assistants, Cathy a very chatty woman and a male movie star, Clint. Mallory is very much the diva and everyone soon hates her, including Olga the owner of the spa and diet Nazi as Jaine calls her.Mallory is murdered during a sea weed wrap and everyone at the spa is a suspect. Jaine is on the case

  • Susan
    2019-01-24 18:09

    Small-time writer Jaine Austen is looking for some big-time pampering when she gets a gift vacation at the Haven, a famous spa. She's unpleasantly surprised when it turns out to be one of those starve-and-exercise spas, but before she can make up her mind to leave, one of the other guests is murdered and the police want everyone to stay put. Since this means 300-calorie meals, Jaine decides to investigate on her own. It seems that almost everyone has a motive, even--theoretically--Jaine. As usual, the narrative is peppered with e-mails from Jaine's eccentric parents.