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Praise for The Macho Paradox "An honest, intellectually rigorous and insightful work that challenges readers to truly engage in a political discourse that can change lives, communities and nations." --Rosalind Wiseman, author of Queen Bees and Wannabes "Jackson Katz is an American hero! With integrity and courage, he has taken his message--that the epidemic of violence agaPraise for The Macho Paradox "An honest, intellectually rigorous and insightful work that challenges readers to truly engage in a political discourse that can change lives, communities and nations." --Rosalind Wiseman, author of Queen Bees and Wannabes "Jackson Katz is an American hero! With integrity and courage, he has taken his message--that the epidemic of violence against women is a men's issue--into athletic terms, the military and frat houses across the country. His book explains carefully and convincingly why--and how--men can become part of the solution, and work with women to build a world in which everyone is safer." --Michael Kimmel, author of Manhood in America, spokesperson, National Organization for Men Against Sexism (NOMAS) "If only men would read Katz's book, it could serve as a potent form of male consciousness-raising." --Publishers Weekly "This book leaves no man behind when it comes to taking violence against women personally....After reading this book you can see how important it is to be a stand-up guy and not a standy-by guy, no matter what race or culture you come from." --Alfred L. McMichael, 14th Sergeant Major of the Marine Corps and now serving as the Sergeant Major of NATO "A candid look at the cultural factors that lend themselves to tolerance of abuse and violence against women." --Booklist "These pages will empower both men and women to end the scourge of male violence and abuse. Katz knows how to cut to the core of the issues, demonstrating undeniably that stopping the degradation of women should be every man's priority." --Lundy Bancroft, author of Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men...

Title : The Macho Paradox: Why Some Men Hurt Women and How All Men Can Help
Author :
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ISBN : 9781402204012
Format Type : Paperback
Number of Pages : 296 Pages
Status : Available For Download
Last checked : 21 Minutes ago!

The Macho Paradox: Why Some Men Hurt Women and How All Men Can Help Reviews

  • Khashayar Mohammadi
    2019-06-06 12:27

    Fantastic Book. Certain chapters hit crucial notes about the current reality of the collective masculine identity that needs to be fixed in EVERY man. The name of the book sums it all up; how it takes a so-called "Macho" man (which in the original Spanish form embodies characteristics such as courage, sincerity, pride and responsibility) to stand up against fellow "Brothers", fellow "Men" who are actively sexist and misogynistic. Because as we all know, not all men are rapists and abusive, but the ferocity of the few is ONLY possible through the complacency of the many. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book, but to someone fairly familiar with feminism and rape/porn culture, the writings provided inside are rather simple. I suggest this book to Adolescent men who might not have figured out the larger chunk of what is said inside.Kudos to Jackson Katz for what he does. Kudos to all men who have realized the impotence of feminism without male Allies. Kudos to all men who put down their fucking egos for a second and just LISTEN and make the world a better place.Just remember: If you're not abusive, you're not a "Good" guy, you're not a "Nice" guy. You're the very starting point of humanity. Now take a step further.

  • Jerzy
    2019-06-22 05:08

    Guys, please, read this book. It will give you lots to think about regarding some problems with our society's ideals about what it means to be a "real man." AND it's uplifting - unlike many books complaining about society's problems, Jackson Katz actually gives reasonable, concrete suggestions about what to do about it.In particular, I was impressed with the tone of this book. Acknowledging that obviously *most* guys aren't rapists or abusers, Katz doesn't attack men - he simply issues a challenge to us: do we have the courage to stand up against male violence?It's easy to divide the world into "bad guys" who hurt women and "good guys" who don't, then pat yourself on the back for being on the good side. But Katz asks us to go further and speak up when our guy friends engage in sexist behavior. Unfortunately there's a perception that it's normal and natural for "real men" to disrespect women; and if you challenge such behavior you're at risk of losing your status as "one of the guys." (You're also likely to be called gay; this doesn't follow logically and should be irrelevant anyway, but homophobia is another unfortunate part of today's definition of a "real man.") We're at a point where many individual guys don't really want to be sexist, but we're afraid of the social consequences for rocking the boat.Story time: When Miller came out with Miller Lite, there were many guys who did want a less filling beer, but they wouldn't order one because it would be seen as a "girly" drink. So Miller ran a successful advertising campaign with well-known, respected, and very manly football players drinking Miller Lite in a bar with their friends, to show that it's okay for real men to drink light beer.In the same way, Katz suggests, if you're a popular, respected, or otherwise powerful guy, you could do a lot of good by being a good role model who actually steps in to prevent, discourage, or outright stop violent or sexist behavior. If we had a lot of role models showing us that it is good and proper for real men to respect women, then much violence could be prevented:1) individual guys might be less likely to consider using force against a woman, and2) their friends might be more likely to speak up and stop them from doing something stupid instead of thinking "There's nothing wrong with it" or "It's none of my business."Katz describes the training programs he's helped create to pass on this way of thinking to popular/powerful guys in groups like athletic teams and the military. There are some good suggestions for how to react in such circumstances in your own life.Those are some of the major points, but there's LOTS more to this book. It's full of sobering facts about men's violence, but also contains many inspiring success stories and useful prevention ideas. Read it!

  • Worthless Bum
    2019-06-08 11:59

    Jackson Katz gives us a work tackling the pernicious consequences of male gender socialization, the most serious of which is, clearly, male violence. And if you dispute this, I'll validate my manhood by taking a macho hyper-masculine posture and start fucking hitting people.Being the first feminist book I've ever read, I can't really say how well it stacks up to other works covering the same topics. Nevertheless, this book has the rare quality of having a substantially perspective changing, consciousness raising effect on me, something that can be said of fewer than half a dozen books I've read. I knew that violence against women was a serious problem, but learning about the frequency of violent acts was just shocking. An estimated 78 women raped every hour, and a large percentage of women physically or sexually abused by their partners? Holy fuck is that egregious!Besides how common violence against women is, the other shocking thing is the myriad ways in which violent masculinity is socially reinforced. From popular movies and music, sports, pornography, the military, male role models, etc. Patriarchal oppression is still very much a part of mainstream American culture, it seems. The biggest problem I have with Katz's mostly excellent book is his soft position on religion. For the sake of having a wide tent, Katz keeps from criticizing the clearly pernicious role that religion has had in perpetuating mysoginy. He wants to include some liberal religious folk who might be receptive to what he has to say, but in so doing he makes the mistake that Sam Harris has repeatedly pointed out of tacitly supporting religious fundamentalism and extremism. That simply won't do.

  • Tara
    2019-06-17 10:57

    I took a workshop by Katz for work and brought my husband along. I feel like it was life changing for both of us. This book and the message it brings is important for all men, especially fathers to hear. This book doesn't say all men are violent, it says most violence is committed by men. A real problem. If you are a man with a women in your life, you should read this book to better understand the violence and rape culture we live in everyday. He is an amazing guy with a powerful message.

  • Andrew Perry
    2019-06-08 09:25

    **This is an ongoing review as I read on**Jackson Katz sets the tone of his subject in the preface of The Macho Paradox by recounting an interactive exercise that he demonstrates to university students, where he asks, first men, then women, "What steps do you take on a daily basis to prevent yourselves from being sexually assaulted?" While the men's typical response is, "Nothing. I don't think about it." Katz offers a plethora of responses from his female students:"Hold my keys as a potential weapon. Look in the back seat of the car before getting in. Carry a cell phone. Don't go jogging at night. Lock all the windows when I go to sleep, even on hot summer nights. Be careful not to drink too much. Don't put my drink down and come back to it; make sure I see it being poured. Own a big dog. Carry Mace or pepper spray. Have an unlisted phone number. Have a man's voice on my answering machine. Park in well-lit areas. Don't use parking garages. Don't get on elevators with only one man or with a group of men. Vary my route home from work. Watch what I wear. Don't use highway rest areas. Use a home alarm system. Don't wear headphones when jogging. Avoid forests or wooded areas, even in the daytime. Don't take a first-floor apartment. Go out in groups. Own a firearm. Meet men on first dates in public places. Make sure to have a car or cab fare. Don't make eye contact with men on the street. Make assertive eye contact with men on the street."Katz plainly states that his goal is to reduce violence against women by focusing on male-peer culture, which "provide[s] active or tacit support for some men's abusive behaviour." That being said, throughout the pages Katz is quick to maintain that the structures of gender and power that produce men's violence against women is linked to the wider cultural issue, by which force, or the threat of force, is used to establish or maintain control between men. Katz discredits the notion that a person is likely to get violent when they have "blown a fuse". He concedes that it sounds reasonable to accept that abusers simply "lose control", but upon careful scrutiny, they "will admit that even in their heightened state of anger, they were able to make a series of rational decisions." As someone who works as a bouncer and typically confronts drunk patrons, it surprised me how insightful, yet seemingly obvious, this observation was.As he introduces some of the problems surrounding our use of language regarding men's violence against women, Katz takes great care to dismiss the argument that abusers behaviour is simply a result of individual pathology, rather than underlying power structures and social norms. Katz writes disparagingly against referring to men's violence against women as a "women's issue", because it "contribute[s] to a broad shifting of responsibility from the male perpetrators of violence to its female victims." Shifting responsibility on to the victim is an ongoing theme in the book, and Katz often uses the highly-publicized Kobe Bryant rape trial as an example of this theme. A striking paragraph reminding of my own complacency in this process was where Katz makes the case that by referring to the allege rape victim as "Kobe's accuser", the media subtly undermined the credibility of the victim by turning people's attention to the actions of the young woman rather than the merits of the prosecutor's case. He observes that Bryant's lawyers successfully shifted the framing of the trial so that Bryant became the "victim" of her accusations. The fixation on her sexual practices overshadowed Bryant's alleged pattern of sexually aggressive conduct toward women. In a recent conversation with a good friend of mine, I referred to an alleged victim as "the accuser", and upon reflection, I think I may have done so with sympathy to the alleged predator, because I had otherwise respected him. I know understand the grievous impact of doing so, and I have this book to thank for making me aware of just how much language impacts our perceptions of events.My one critique thus far of Jackson's work is within Chapter 3, Taking It Personally. I want to preface my thoughts by acknowledging that, overall, it is a very good chapter, and I could relate to many of the experiences that are shared in my own journey of feminism becoming more central to my life. That being said, I have some reservations with the means by which Katz advocates getting more men involved with domestic and sexual violence programs (although he was clear that he is speaking from experience). Katz says, "I have learned that the surest way to grab men's attention is to get personal. To make this about women they know and love. It is one thing for guys to agree in principle that violence against women is a serious problem, but quite another to talk about their mothers, daughters, or wives. In order to dramatically expand the number of men who make these issues a priority, there is no better motivating force than the power of men's intimate connection to women." On the surface, I believe that this is both practical and effective. After all, it was a great influence on my own personal development. Seemingly aware of the dangers of this reasoning, I offer the words of Katz himself as the premise of my critique:"One pitfall in the effort to make the mistreatment of women a personal issue for men is the risk that it will tap into some men's traditional chivalry without challenging their underlying sexism. [. . .] So the question is ever-present: what if a man's impulse to intervene for women derives not from caring and altruism, or a sense of fairness and equality, but from a deeply held belief that women are, in a certain sense, men's possessions? What if he is coming from a place where an attack on "our women" is functionally equivalent to an attack on him, or his honor? [sic]"Katz does offer reminders that prioritizing the needs of the victim is crucial to providing a supportive role. A particularly chilling paragraph found on p.54 is worth noting, "[O]ne of the most painful effects of being battered or sexually assaulted is the experience of a loss of control over one's body. One of the most devastating things a perpetrator does is take this control for himself. So if a man steps in to defend or avenge the victim and he has not checked in with her about what she needs, no matter how well-intentioned he might be, he is also depriving her of the right to take back control of her own life." Overall, I must credit Katz with identifying the unintended consequences of making the subject personal for men, specifically how patriarchal norms of chivalry can both undermine and co-opt sincere attempts at being supportive during the healing and accountability process, but in my opinion he did not sufficiently dedicate time to the means and methods by which men who are socialized with patriarchal values may effectively alter their perceptions and, more importantly, how to shift these perceptions within male-peer groups. I am hopeful that he will address, what I consider, the most glaring weakness of this chapter further in the book.

  • Chris
    2019-06-25 12:09

    I picked this up after reading Asking for It: The Alarming Rise of Rape Culture and What We Can Do about It. Katz's points are very interesting, if perhaps the examples are somewhat dated. Of more interesting to a writing teacher or writer, is his discussion of passive voice. Really interesting.

  • Ireyon
    2019-06-08 09:04

    I've read this book as part of research for a University group work pertaining to violence in society and how gender affects it. It was not a pleasant experience, for entirely the wrong reasons.This book is shoddily researched and, hilariously enough, bigoted in itself, with not a single spark of self-reflection or irony.What I expected was in-depth research about the causes of violence and how to adress it. What I got instead is a badly cobbled together mess that once again trods out the "all women are victims all men are entitled morons" chestnut. The title is slightly misleading: This book is an us-versus-them mentality taken to its logical conclusion. There are no "neutral" people. You march either in lockstep with the writer or you are an apologist for violence towards women.The only moment of anything approaching enjoyment I got when reading this book was when I realized that the male author unwittingly subjects women to the very idea equality-minded people and humanists are fighting againt: That all women are in a state of perpetual vicimhood, helpless damsels who are powerless unless men come to their rescue.When a ridiculously small fraction of men behave violently (some of them towards women) that automatically makes it a problem all men are responsible to solve. Would this logic still hold up if I were to suggest that when a ridiculously small fraction of women beat their husbands, all women should be lectured about it? No, of course not. Because the assumption will be made that these women are outliers on the "typical female" spectrum. Women are not expected to be violent, men are. People are more likely to believe me were I to say "My boyfriend assaulted me!" than, say, my brother. This book implies that not only is it the duty of all men to protect all women, it manages to be simultaneously sexist towards men and women.The books' greatest sin, in my opinion, is to imply that someone's opinion must be wrong because they are on a certain part of the political spectrum. "Hitler ate sugar" fallacy anyone?I regret ever reading this and I hope that I will never have to take another book like this into my hands. I would give this book zero stars if I could but my only consolation will have to be that at least the author didn't get money from me on account of it belonging to my local library. If you want to learn about gender equality, this book is not for you. This is preaching to the choir of the highest order.

  • Melissa Stacy
    2019-06-05 08:04

    The 2006 nonfiction book, "The Macho Paradox: Why Some Men Hurt Women and How All Men Can Help," by Jackson Katz, is one of the most difficult and important books I've ever read. It took me a long time to finish these pages. Jackson Katz is a good writer and his book is packed with insight and information. The content was just so emotionally challenging, and made me reflect on my own lack of awareness so much, that reading this book was like taking an entire course study on how little I really understand about the world, how little I understand about how language works, how culture works, and how much "the patriarchy" and the embedded hatred of women have been entrenched in modern culture in ever more powerful ways.Jackson Katz grew up with all the trappings of "traditional manhood" -- as a popular athlete in high school, Mr. Katz was a proud member of the "jockocracy" that ran his school. He lived with an elite status within a powerful peer-group as a young man. His interest in feminism came in college, when he went through a transformation that made him a powerhouse human being -- the human being who committed his life to calling attention to men's violence against women, and trying to stop that violence from happening.I cannot state enough how much Jackson Katz moved me with this book, or how compelling and noble I find him to be. As I read his book, I would often take breaks to watch clips of him online, giving interviews or presentations or speaking in documentaries. He has a wealth of material available, including an educational video titled, "Tough Guise: Violence, Media, and the Crisis in Masculinity." As much as I love all of this additional material, nothing compares to reading the text of this book. For the sheer volume of information and the emotional impact the data had on me, "The Macho Paradox" was a heart-wrenching book in every way.Having finished this book in February 2018, I can state that in the twelve years since this book was first published, it remains as relevant, important, and necessary as the day it debuted. This is one nonfiction title that has -- tragically -- aged extremely well. The pop culture references Jackson Katz used for a book that debuted in 2006 are from the same pornographic pop culture of the America I live in today. I think the relevance of his pop culture references was something else that made this book even more horrifying to read."The Macho Paradox" is a feminist book: a book that treats all human beings with dignity and respect, regardless of genitalia or gender. It pains me to say how radical it is to read a book that was written by a man that respects all people so much. This is just not an experience I am used to. Jackson Katz is one of the most relentlessly honest and justice-driven feminists I've ever met in a book, and it pains me to admit that I keep mentally asking the author, "How can you be like this, and not be a woman?" Reading the work of a male feminist who writes at this level was a shock. Even now that I have reached the last page, I may never get over the shock. I will quote a small portion of his acknowledgments, which made me cry --"Sadly, the woman who perhaps did more than any other individual in history to enlighten both women *and* men about men's violence against women died while I was writing this book. I never had the opportunity to thank Andrea Dworkin in person, so I do so here in recognition of her extraordinary grace and courage in the face of ruthless caricatures and dismissals of her work."The fact that Jackson Katz penned those words in tribute to Andrea Dworkin just says it all.Five full stars. I absolutely love this painful, necessary, and important book.

  • Elizabeth Hall
    2019-06-06 05:08

    Jackson Katz’s The Macho Paradox: Why Some Men Hurt Women and How All Men Can Help is a deeply necessary book, for it describes a paradigm shift in the way we view and treat men’s violence against women. Before reading this book, I knew some of the basic premises—our cultural definition of masculinity relies on sexism and violence against women (“real” men are not women/feminine/”weak” and can demonstrate their control and dominance over both weaker men and women), men bond together via sexism either actively or passively, we engage in victim-blaming and scrutinizing of a woman’s behavior when she speaks out about rape, and our media and language are steeped in this paradigm. What I didn’t understand—what this book helped me to understand—is what specific steps non-violent or formerly violent men can take to become empowered bystanders in the movement for change. As Mr. Katz states many times throughout the book, this change is good for men as well as women, for men are deeply affected by the violence entrenched in our definition of masculinity—they are affected as sons, as boyfriends, husbands, fathers, brothers, friends, and victims. Men’s violence against women is, at its’ core, a men’s issue—and Katz deals with it as such.One of the best things about this book is its honesty. Katz doesn’t try to shame or condescend to men, and he speaks about his own experiences and attitudes. He tells stories on himself about times when he didn’t stand up to another man’s sexism as boldly as he could have, the ways in which he participated in sexist aspects of culture as a younger man, and the ways in which he’s grown as an ally for people of color. He also pays tribute to the many women who have shaped his thoughts about gender violence and the groundbreaking and important work female feminists have done to increase both awareness and services for the victims of sexual assault and battery.Katz isn’t interested in making any man feel bad or guilty, but he is interested in male (and female) introspection, which can lead to action: “Men’s violence against women is a pervasive social phenomenon with deep roots in existing personal, social, and institutional arrangements. In order for people to understand and ultimately work together to prevent it, it is first necessary for them to engage in a great deal of personal and collective introspection.” (p. 19)The first several chapters of the book provide material for this introspection. After opening with some facts about violence against women (for example, nearly one-third of American women report being physically or sexually abused by a husband or boyfriend at some point in their lives), Katz examines how our media deals with this violence. From passive, victim-focused language in news reports (a woman “was beaten” or “was raped”) to scrutiny of a victim’s sexual habits, dress, and life choices, we live in a society that puts the onus on women not to “get raped” rather than on men to stop raping. Katz discusses this aspect of rape culture along with many others—street harassment, the proliferation of degrading and demeaning porn (some of which he describes in detail) along with the normalization of strip clubs and prostitution. He focuses on specific examples of our misogynistic culture that either consciously or unconsciously glorify men who do violence to women: Kobe Bryant’s standing ovation at a home game during his rape trial, the way women are treated in televised professional wrestling, the murderous lyrics of Eminem.In addition to critiquing culture, Katz examines male attitudes toward it, focusing particularly on the bystander, or the “good guy” who isn’t a rapist and wouldn’t hurt a woman and yet participates in sexist practices that contribute to the normalization of violence against women. Here, it is clear, is the crux of the matter: “It can be very difficult to challenge other men’s sexism, especially in group situations in school, on teams, in fraternities, or in male-dominated workplaces.” (p. 127). And that difficulty on the individual level becomes a difficulty on a societal level—thus, men’s violence becomes a “women’s issue,” and men who are uncomfortable with it, and with a definition of masculinity that institutionalizes it, remain silent. How can we move past this problem, for the good of both women and men?That’s the focus of the last few chapters of the book, in which Katz discusses the strategies he uses in his Mentors in Violence Prevention (MVP) program, which works with high school and college student athletes to change attitudes about rape, sexual assault, and battery. Katz developed this program, along with others, at Northeastern University in 1993. Part of the idea behind it is that if major sports players speak out against violence against women—the “manliest” of the manly—the stigma of standing against sexism will be removed. But that’s not all the program does—through a series of hypothetical scenarios and discussions, MVP gets athletes to consider the many options they might have when confronted with another man’s violence or with sexist practices in our culture. The program is effective in the military as well, and the author has created a version for use with the Marines. Katz also focuses on the importance of raising boys to question sexism in culture, and of men working together—coaches, teachers, parents, and other concerned adults—to teach our boys that becoming men doesn’t need to rely on hurting women.The Macho Paradox provides practical advice and much-needed critical insight about both masculinity and rape culture. I consider it an absolute must-read, a game-changer in our societal struggle for emotional healing, wholeness, and equality.

  • Tatton
    2019-06-03 10:21

    Jackson Katz's approach is simple and profound. This book reframes the issue of violence against women as men's violence against women. He says that violence against women has traditionally been seen as a "women's issue" but that we must come to see it as a "men's issue" because men commit the vast majority of violence. He clearly illustrates how masculinity is a concept that needs to be redefined in order to prevent violence against women, and violence in general. It is surely one of those books that will permanently alter your perception. Everyone who has an interest in anti-sexist work must read this. I would argue that EVERYONE has an interest in anti-sexist work. Therefore, you should READ IT!

  • Martin
    2019-05-30 10:09

    Great resource, I think every male-identified men should read this book. What he's saying isn't revolutionary to those involved with feminism or violence prevention, but it is a sad truth that many men simply do not understand how patriarchy, masculinities, and their own behavior harm everyone in society. Reading this book will bridge, or at least shorten, this gap of understanding, and just by understanding what he is saying will do us a lot of good. This book and bell hooks' writings should be required reading in school curricula.

  • Kaigham
    2019-06-15 05:10

    Wow. Really opened my eyes to what DON'T DO to perpetuate harmful behavior towards women. This book has made me look at everyday situations in a different light and more aware of latent and subconscious cultural pressures that men (largely) unknowingly are part of. Recommend this to all my male and female friends.

  • Carmen something
    2019-06-15 11:57

    Katz has been a trailblazer in this field--I am using excerpted chapters in some of my work. I understand he had some conflicts with his publisher about what would make his book sell, which may have resulted in a finished product that doesn't necessarily represent his work fully. That said, this is a powerful text for anyone involved in the struggle to challenge men's violence against women.

  • Janelle Bonura
    2019-06-25 13:18

    I have a special place in my heart for Jackson Katz. He has an incredible ability to reach men and get them to listen and pay attention to gender issues and issues of violence and abuse. An absolute must read for all. I want to share this with every person, especially every man, in my life.

  • Keith Weir
    2019-06-07 08:18

    This is an amazing book, and one that all men should read. It's not always an easy, or comfortable read, but it is an incredibly important book, and one that is very needed in our Patriarchal culture! A Highly recommended, book that will open your eyes, and challenge you to live a better life.

  • Carla
    2019-06-05 07:21

    When he spoke on campus last year, I was mortified by the response from the general audience (ignorant and overwhelmingly misogynistic) but I was unbelievably impressed with his message and his decorum. Speaking with him before and after the TLC event was an absolute pleasure.

  • Matthew Fay
    2019-06-11 13:21

    It's simple: if you're a man, you need to read this book.

  • Tanya
    2019-06-26 13:07

    The author hits the same points over and over again.

  • Kristine Olsen
    2019-06-18 06:25

    Still trying to digest what I read in Katz’s book. Lots of great perspectives, questions and possible solutions to dealing with why there is so much violence perpetrated by men, especially with respect to women. Yes, men are victims too. I kept seeing references to this book in my internet wanderings and stumbled across a TED talk by Katz so thought I’d see what it was all about. A very engaging read and something that I would recommend to anyone who wants a male perspective on male violence. I did appreciate the sense of hope through the book that someday we may be a more equitable society, I just wish the road didn’t seem so long.

  • Andrea
    2019-06-19 09:09

    I highly recommend this book to anyone -male or female - interested in the dynamics of gender politics. It is a real eye-opener regarding the structural oppression women still face in western societies.

  • Kristen Harrell
    2019-06-12 08:00

    This has been very helpful for working with students who have engaged in damaging behavior. It provides a non-attacking perspective.

  • Jesus
    2019-05-31 10:07

    A good, provocative read...but I would like to see it updated, and focused. It felt burdensome to read for stretches, and I don't think it needed to.

  • Kristen Harrell
    2019-05-28 11:03

    This book as been an excellent tool to assist in working with students who struggle to understand the impacts of their behavior. The book is informative and does not attack with its message.

  • Janiece
    2019-06-10 10:05

    I love Jackson’ Katz’s training exercise revealing the contrast between how men and women spend their lives in relation to preventing sexual assault. In this book, he expands on this - he makes great points about how it is our culture rather than a few troubled individual men who are responsible for the epidemic of violence against women. For example, he looks at the language we use to frame rape and other violence against women (even the term ‘violence against women’ itself – we mention the women, but not the men who are overwhelmingly the perpetrators, deflecting responsibility). He points out that because men are the main perpetrators of violence against women, men must be included in the conversation and action towards a solution. It is not enough not to commit these acts oneself - men must also speak out against other men who are sexist or violent. It is all men who must take a stand. The wider context of societal pressures contributing to rape culture is explored. Katz also tells us about some of the great programs he has done in this area. However, Katz’s views on sex work/stripping/pornography are problematic for those readers who come from a sex-positive angle. He asserts that these things are *always* exploitative of women, even when who insists they freely choose and enjoy this work. The only women he quotes form on these subjects are SWERFs like Gail Dines. There is no evidence that he talked to any women in the sex industry, which contributes to his one-sided view. This is not to say there are never problems in the sex industry but he is clearly firmly on the negative side, with no leeway, which seem a bit paternalistic of him, ironically. Like I have found with a lot of American self-help/pop-psychology books, this one is extremely repetitive in style. It could have had a hard editorial prune and been reduced half the length, making the same points and saving everybody time. Worth a read for the amazing insights into men’s violence against women, but treat his wider views with caution if you believe that informed, consenting women can make their own choices re work and porn use.

  • Linda Dynel
    2019-06-18 09:22

    Underline in pencil, not in hi-lighter; every page has a nugget you'll want to remember and if you start out with highlighter your book will end up a huge wad of yellow mess by the time you're done. Five stars aren't enough!

  • Paul Kapellas
    2019-06-25 11:20

    I wanted to love this book. I am someone who has been near, and witnessed too much, violence to be anything other than an advocate against domestic violence (let alone rape!). Again, I wanted to love this book, but I did not. In fact, this book was such a bias piece of work that I couldn't get past page 103. Katz came highly recommended from one of my favorite professors at UC Berkeley so I thought this was a no-brainer. But once digging in I found the writing to be highly redundant. This also reminded me of taking statistics in college and being told on the first day of class that statistics can be worded in many ways to support many arguments - "they're usually highly unreliable." And here they're used for dramatic effect.There is almost no concern for gateways to violence by page 103, most importantly addiction and abuse of drugs and alcohol. This makes sense because to bring that up would shine light on a bigger problem in this country. The contradictions are far, wide and frequent. One example being that women are strong enough to fend for themselves, men should never consider them "delicate flowers" yet Katz has written a whole book backed by a thesis that men need to stand up to other men... In defense of women. The kicker was when Katz all but excused the minority male perpetrator's during the Puerto Rican Day Parade Attacks in 2000, all because they weren't white males. They "were actually pretty normal guys." According to Katz, this is an expected review from a white male. But as a husband and father, I truly wanted to find a piece of literature that would be inspiring towards these issues. This was not the book. Katz is to liberals as Limbaugh is to conservatives, think of the type of extremists that it takes to stomach a person like Limbaugh.

  • Andrew
    2019-06-17 09:00

    Without question, this book has a message that needs to be heard. It's a challenging book for a man to read, because it calls into question a lot of topics most men would rather not face. It would be hard for any thinking person to deny that our culture has a pretty distorted picture of masculinity. As a result, many men feel that just by not being one of the "bad guys", they're doing their part. Katz devotes a large portion of this book to refuting that belief. Rape and gender violence really aren't the work of isolated deviants, he argues, they are the result of a "rape culture" we all play a part in. There are so many subconscious messages constantly around us that subtly reinforce a subordinate role for women. These are things that have become so commonplace, that most of us don't even think to question them, or challenge them. But Katz does that, and at the very least he will make you think about what real masculinity is, and what we owe to our mothers, sisters, wives, and friends. My complaint with his book is that he spends 90% of the book establishing the problem, and then only the last 10% on what motivated men can do to help. By about half way through the book, I was convinced, and ready for tangible objectives. But I never really got that. My hope is that his follow-up book would be more of a guide for men who want to help; a more directed look at things they can change in themselves and the world around them to build a less gender biased culture.Happily, I did manage to find the Good Men Project. Which looks like a great place to continue this conversation. So at least there are resources out there for those of us with an interest.

  • Jonathan Schildbach
    2019-06-14 04:59

    This book does a pretty excellent job of laying out a lot of the cultural factors that lead to negative attitudes toward women. It also has a lot of information for "consciousness raising" about how those cultural factors potentially numb us to various forms of harm that are done. I'm not sure Katz actually answers the question implied in the title--about why some men hurt women, so much as he answers a question about why there is such an accepting attitude about women being abused, insulted, and degraded on a regular basis. He offers plenty of ideas about how all men can help--essentially by recognizing their own attitudes, committing to changing problematic attitudes, and being willing to call out people for expressing sexist and misogynistic beliefs, or for engaging in behavior that is degrading toward women. Katz' work here is important enough to warrant plenty of attention, but the book is rather long, often repetitive, and can be a bit overly-academic--which can potentially limit the reach of the book, preventing it from getting to more people who really need it. Still, I recommend it to anyone who wants to understand what kinds of influences are at play in terms of sexist ideas and behaviors, what kinds of influences and pressures men feel to conform to those ideas and behaviors, and how to effectively challenge them and move toward real change.

  • Will Jones
    2019-06-23 07:05

    This is a good book on an excellent topic. I've been doing work in violence prevention for over a year, so a lot of what he discussed regarding mens' violence was not new to me. But the approach to focusing on how to change mens' behavior was, and I found that fascinating. In a lot of ways he makes a strong argument for what I might call a slightly more pragmatic approach to engaging men, while at the same time recognizing the potential shortcomings that many feminists have worried about when discussing the dangerous that can occur when trying to engage more men with this work. I also appreciated the way his own writing served as a sort of role model for the way men should approach being involved in stopping mens' violence; he does well in making sure to acknowledge his debt to the work of the many brave feminist women who came before him as well as demonstrate a great deal of introspection about his own behavior.I would highly recommend this book to anyone who is interesting in how to engage men in violence prevention efforts, as well as men who want to learn about the issue of mens' violence.

  • Destri
    2019-06-19 08:17

    I freaking loved this book. I would recommend this book to everyone in my life and I'm not exaggerating. The book is mostly directed towards the male audience although though the information is relevant to all audiences. Katz uses the focus of the book to persuade men to become allies of women against sexism, arguing that it is in men's best interest. Even though he makes many attempts to disarm the male reader and does not take an accusatory tone, he also holds men appropriately responsible for their role in the perpetuation of violence against women.But it also gives women really good insight into men's issues including why some men are violent against women as well as why more don't speak out against it.If I could afford to, I would buy a million copies of this book to distribute.