Read Vampire Haiku by Ryan Mecum Online


You hold in your hands a recently discovered poetry journal—the poetry journal of a vampire. William Butten was en route to a new land on the Mayflower when he was turned into a vampire by a fellow passenger, a beautiful woman named Katherine. These pages contain his heartbreaking story—the story of a vampire who has lived through (and perhaps caused) some of America's defYou hold in your hands a recently discovered poetry journal—the poetry journal of a vampire. William Butten was en route to a new land on the Mayflower when he was turned into a vampire by a fellow passenger, a beautiful woman named Katherine. These pages contain his heartbreaking story—the story of a vampire who has lived through (and perhaps caused) some of America's defining events. As he travels the country and as centuries pass, he searches for his lost love and records his adventures and misadventures using the form of poetry known as haiku.As Butten documents bloody wars, a certain tea party in Boston, living the high life during the Great Depression, two Woodstock festivals, the corruption of Emily Dickinson, and hanging out with Davy Crockett, he keeps to the classic 5-7-5 syllable structure of haiku. The resulting poems are hilarious, repulsive, oddly romantic, and bizarre.Read along, and you just may find a new appreciation for—and insight into—various events in American history. And blood....

Title : Vampire Haiku
Author :
Rating :
ISBN : 9781600617720
Format Type : Paperback
Number of Pages : 137 Pages
Status : Available For Download
Last checked : 21 Minutes ago!

Vampire Haiku Reviews

  • karen
    2019-02-20 05:16

    somewhat disappointing. the reason the zombie one was so freaking hilarious is because zombies are these lumbering, inarticulate, limb-dropping monsters, and the thought of them, in their free time, composing elegant little haikus, makes laughter in me. vampires dont have the same contrast, so the laughter in me is smaller. i like this one though:you would be surprised-the amount of wooden stakesthat are in most roomsbut the design gets an a-plus...

  • sj
    2019-03-20 10:14

    This little book takes on the guise of a journal kept by William Butten, a passenger on the Mayflower, who had decided to chronicle his adventures in the form of "small poems."While loading the boat,I notice some packed coffins.Pessimistic Bunch.Less than a week into their journey to the New World (now I have this song in my head), he meets a mysterious (and gorgeous, obvs) female who he finds out is (again, obviously) a vampire. The rest of the story details the history of what became America from the perspective of someone who has literally watched it all happen.Blood tastes like cherries. Mixed with a lot of copper. And way too much salt.Witch trials, wars, Son of Sam, Waco, myspace...all those horrible things we talk about with hushed voices - he was there. He did that. Wanna know why Babe Ruth kicked so much ass? William can tell you. Amelia Earhart's disappearance? Yeah, he knows what happened there, too.While I'm not a bloodsucking fiend, I found it incredibly easy to relate to William. We both hate Bram Stoker and Stephenie Meyer, we share a love for Buffy and have similar taste in music.Most all real vampiresPrefer classical music -And maybe Tom Waits.The entire book had me giggling, the pictures inside (photos and drawings) were great and the ending was pretty hilarious.Dear Mister Mecum,I greatly enjoyed this book.Write more just for me.

  • Nicay │The Nerdy side of a Queen
    2019-02-26 09:16

    Vampire Haiku by Ryan Mecum, nice title isn't it? I got curious when I first laid my eyes in this book. Ryan Mecum wrote this book through the use of the 5-7-5 syllables of Haiku. It was a journal type book but in a Haiku way. William Butten, the character in this book and the one who made the journal was a vampire. Ooppps.. Sorry spoiler."Five syllables first, then followed by seven more, and then five again." William Butten, as he explores living in a vampire life was pretty amazing. And how he survived living alone and drinking blood as the years pass by. I was really fascinated by the writing style of this book that I crave for something more. Writing Haiku was not as easy as it seems. I had tried it before, but thinking and writing with sense with only 5-7-5 syllables were really hard. Plus, this book was a great read for this Halloween and it was amazing to read some other ways of writing, an old old way. 4/5 stars.

  • Lexi (Pink Jellyfish)
    2019-03-12 09:09

    Amazing...Fav. quote:"Those were not vampires.If sunlight makes you sparkle, You’re a unicorn."

  • FreYal Omar
    2019-03-14 08:58

    I loved it!

  • Serena
    2019-03-11 12:17

    Ryan Mecum's Vampire Haiku mixes humor and poetry in diary form for vampire William Butten, who was turned in 1620. He falls in love with a beautiful woman on the Mayflower named Katherine, who turned him into a vampire. Soon he's parted from his love to roam America on his own and make his own friends. There are tales of some well known historic figures from Davy Crockett to Amelia Earhart and famous events in history like the Civil War and Woodstock.Readers may initialy be attracted to the cover haiku, which also appears on page 37:"You know that your drinkis down to the last few sipsonce the toes curl up."Butten has a twisted sense of humor, but readers will enjoy is little anecdotes about becoming a vampire and bumbling around learning how to feed, etc. Mecum uses his linguistic and historic knowledge to create fun and witty haiku. Although they are not precisely haiku in the traditional sense, they mostly adhere to the form's syllable count. It is fun to see Butten reveal insider knowledge about the deaths of Davy Crockett and other major historical figures. In some cases, the poems will have readers cringing in disgust."Discarded band-aidsare rare unexpected treats.My version of gum." (page 113)There are even moments in the book where the vampire makes fun of the modern vampire crazes from the goth kids to the latest vampire movies. One of the best haiku in the book is about the Twilight movie:"Those were not vampires.If sunlight makes you sparkle,you're a unicorn." (page 117)Will Butten ever find his true love, Katherine, or will he stop searching for her and settle down? Overall, those interested in humor and vampires will find Vampire Haiku to be a treat.

  • Lori
    2019-03-21 07:02

    Thanks to Ryan, who agreed to mail me out a copy of this book to review.What's better than curling up with a book of poetry on a snowy evening? How about curling up with a book of Vampire poetry! Ryan Mecum has a way with words in this quirky collection of haiku's written by a man who was turned into a vampire buy the woman he loved. He chronicles his journey to America, and documents not only the search for his beloved, but also the times through which he exists, and his influence on historical moments.Here are some of my favorite entries:"How to eat someone:Hold tight, bite neck, suck hard, drink.Repeat as needed.""Blood tastes like cherriesmixed with a lot of copperand way too much salt.""I don't get women.I go and murder for loveand she's mad at me.""I play with my food by sucking blood through the holesthen blowing it back"I am dying to get my hands on his Zombie Haiku. Who knew word groups of 5 - 7 - 5 could be so much fun?

  • Vanessa
    2019-03-20 12:20

    Got this hot off the press and read it in one sitting, laughing and "ewww"ing the whole time. That's a good thing. This small, delightfully gross book by the (surprise!) Zombie Haiku author Ryan Mecum provides even more 5-7-5 gems of pop culture and gore. I was having a bad day and this little book turned my pointy frown upside down.

  • Ryan
    2019-03-21 11:20

    Sucked (get it?).

  • Beth
    2019-03-23 08:08

    Not as good as his first "Zombie Haiku" but still entertaining. If I read this first it would have been better I think. I had high expectations for this one. Good for a few chuckles. 5-7-5 all the way!

  • Rosetta Lynn
    2019-03-23 08:24

    I have always been Fascinated with vampires and how they might see the world. i loved the heart felt poems in this story. if anyone ever needed a strange love story here it is!

  • Jenn Swanson
    2019-03-03 06:11

    While an entertaining book it was not nearly as good as Zombie Haiku was. Still entertaining and vampire fanatics will probably enjoy it.

  • Amy
    2019-03-23 06:22

    Not a bad book. Really quick read.

  • James
    2019-03-02 10:05

    I was at a bookstore to pick up a copy of Slippage: Previously Uncollected, Precariously Poised Stories and noted this on a shelf nearby. I like horror, but I am not in love with it in many of its modern literary forms and, of late, most vampire stories have left me wanting more or, in some cases, less banal meandering. Yet, I picked up the book and read the back cover and noted the idea of vampires affecting human history was mentioned near the end. I immensely enjoyed the book Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter as its clever blend of comedy and poignant details elevated it above the standard fair, though sadly the movie was lacking. Regardless, perhaps the good will that work imbued encouraged me to pick up this title.I am very glad I did so. In several linked haiku, Mr. Mecum gives us humor, but it is equaled in tone by a sense of longing - though the vampire gives up on humanity on the surface, it becomes apparent through his words that he still needs it - allusions to watching The Count on Sesame Street, Buffy, and countless other elements - so beyond the idea of a food source, it is something more - and the emotion he has for his love interest is human as well - and, without giving too much away, the ending even echoes of a logical way to approach loss - the concept not as morose or plain as some vampire tales of late have given us. A surface read may not give much, but a few of the lines, upon reflection, stuck with me. It warranted a brief review again and I found myself thinking of friends and colleagues which would find it interesting, which is the highest recommendation I can give - I thought of recommending it to others. In the end, Mecum gives us a pretty substantial mix of topics, from TV vampires to famous authors and actors which his Butten character encounters. Ranging from dark humor to a sense of a need to continue on and live, I was shocked how much Mecum was able to deliver in 137 pages of haiku. Should you know a fan of the haiku form or just someone who wants a little dark comedy at the hand of a vampire, I would recommend this work. Humor and gallows humor with a quick placement of popular culture and historical happenings elevate this work beyond the mundane vampires we have been given of late and make it a worthy companion to the aforementioned work of Seth Grahame-Smith . It delivered so much more than expected - and I would recommend it even if a vampire was not holding my family hostage until I wrote this positive review...

  • T.J.
    2019-03-08 11:10

    it's like the dark version of forrest gumpok, i mean it no way sounds like it starts in the 1620s, but, it's funny and it's sweet and it's sad

  • Cindy
    2019-03-02 05:16

    Vampire Haiku is a poetry journal written by a vampire whose life spans for centuries, starting during the birth of America. The undead poet was turned into a vampire hundreds of years ago and has lived through (and possibly caused) some of America’s defining events. Although many of the haiku stand on their own, the hundreds of haiku also flow together to tell one story of being a vampire, living during the entire history of America, and forever longing to find and be with the woman who turned him into a vampire many years ago as he crossed the Atlantic Ocean on the Mayflower.Thoughts: I really enjoyed this quick, delightful and a bit gross book. Made me laugh quite a bit. My favorite haiku was in reference to the Twilight series:"If this were real life,Ed would have looked at her neck--Bite, dead, burp, credits."

  • Misha
    2019-02-25 06:16

    This was a delightful and unexpected little volume of haiku that tell the story of a vampire from the time he's turned on the Mayflower to just about the present day. I expected a funny book of assorted little vampire poems, but instead I got a narrative in poetry form that is sometimes funny, sometimes poignant, and sometimes heartbreaking. I also have to give kudos to the book designer. I laughed out loud when I reached the page where William is turned -- and saw the illustrated blood splatters in his "journal." I would have been happier if Mecum had attempted to use an authentic period voice rather than clearly 21st century English, but that didn't ultimately stop me from enjoying the book. I also have to give Mecum points for the Joss Whedon references.

  • Joshua Gage
    2019-03-12 11:13

    However, many readers will forgive Mecum these glaring errors, as the book is clearly listed as "humor," and issues with historical accuracy and poetic quality can be written off as part of the joke. That being said, Vampire Haiku is not without its cringe moments, and there are a few places where readers will shudder. Readers interested in a quick, humorous vampire read that explores and reinvents United States history through a blood-sucking lens and challenges modern vampire stereotypes will really enjoy Ryan Mecum's Vampire Haiku. Full review here:

  • Jess
    2019-03-20 04:56

    it was ok. i enjoyed zombie haiku a lot but this just felt like he was trying too hard to make it a true story.

  • jean
    2019-03-14 09:01

    10 stars! if i could give that much..hahahthis was my first time reading a haiku form of a book/story. oh, it was meant to be a poetry journal from a perspective of a vampire. it was hilarious, very entertaining with a touch of facts and history at some point. though the ending was a bit heartbreaking for our dear vampire, still it was a great story. and i loved it that way. also, the graphic each page adds up to the perfection of this book. great job for the author, Ryan Mecum. he just created a great master piece.

  • Teresa
    2019-03-17 04:15

    Loved it! These 'Haiku Horror' books are like 20 minute reads to clear your head. The only reason I dropped this from 5 to 4 stars is because of some chronological issues, and a little flip flopping between whether or not 'vampire' is 2 or 3 syllables. Other than that, I highly recommend to vampire lovers of all sorts, although this 'vampire's journal' tears apart some of the most popular vampire lit and movies, Twilight included. It made me laugh though, because I hated Twilight as much as our journal writer did! ;-)

  • Aimée
    2019-03-07 12:18

    I don't know when I actually read this book. College, most likely. I just found this while I was sorting through my old stuff. I remembered buying it because of the colors (as lively as goth can be), and for a really cheap price.Well, this had been a very entertaining read. While I am not really that much of a vampire fiend (except for Damon!), I still enjoy vampire reads written in a very humorous fashion. Mr. Mecum's writing had been very delightful and insightful, what with all the history involved.Plus, the art. It's like a picture book, a kiddie book for adults. HA! Makes sense?

  • SAPL Christina
    2019-03-18 05:03

    Vampires just aren't as fun as zombies but vampires can be in all the right places throughout history. I applaud the great effort it must have taken to span the centuries in haiku from the vampire's perspective. I'm just not that creative or patient. Again, the design of the book is fun and imaginative.Vampires that sparkle in the sunlight are really unicorns.Davy Crockett is alive undead and well - still hunting in Texas.

  • Shae
    2019-02-25 09:25

    I was so disappointed by this book. I absolutely loved Zombie Haiku, and it remains one of the most brilliant things I've ever read, so this book was a giant let down. Maybe I was expecting too much out of it or expecting something different, but either way, I did not like it. I thought the random bits of historical things were boring, and the end was just ridiculous. Talking about modern vampire books and television completely ruined the last part of it. Ugh.

  • Angela Maher
    2019-03-06 05:00

    It seems a strange way to write a book, a vampire's journal, written entirely in haiku poems. It works really quite well, however. Some of the language is noticeably not what would have been used at the date of the entry, but the rhythm of the words adds a feeling to the work that is very fitting. The underlying story is good, but I think the links to historic events are slightly overdone. A nicely presented book, and a good, quick read for when you're wanting something different.

  • Lindsey
    2019-02-20 09:57

    This book was just plain silly and a bit on the gross side. There are some vague historical references, a vague, weird love story, and lots of drinking blood. That pretty much sums this book up. Not a great well-developed story, but could be a fun read aloud for reluctant readers. The graphics are just Okay. That aren't spectacular, some are cheesy, but I think mediocre graphics are better than none.

  • Hope Faith
    2019-03-20 08:09

    No. No. No. No. I always have this kind of optimism when it comes to Haiku. That maybe it will be something more than 5-7-5. It was sort of disappointing that this was just a story that was under the disguise of Haiku.I don't really like it. I liked the story but the three stars was a really generous rating. It would be 2 stars if I didn't like the story. I did like the story though. I wouldn't recommend the book if you're actually looking for haiku but it's a decent read.

  • Alli
    2019-03-04 08:58

    This book is a story about a man who is traveling and gets turned into a vampire. the whole book is his whole life story as a vampire and its told in haikus. this book is a true piece of art. They story line is well told and the way he writes it is perfection. i recommend this to anyone who loves vampire stories or loves haiku.

  • August
    2019-03-19 09:10

    This book was almost there. It was clever, although I think haiku is kind of a cheap trick, and certainly some of the "plot points" were surprisingly thought-out -- but it's vampires. And haiku. I don't know. Nothing good can come of that.I did like the Joss references, of course, and I do appreciate alternative history. So there's that.

  • John Orman
    2019-02-20 04:22

    This vampire author purportedly came over to the New World on the ship with the Pilgrims.You know that your drinkIs down to the last few sipsWhen the toes curl up.When a mosquitoPierces my neck and drinks bloodIs that irony?The newspaper saysA death wish was in his blood.I didn't taste it.Prank phone call--I ask for blood donors,Then go pick them up.