Read Hearts & Other Body Parts by IraBloom Online


A novel of love and monsters. Sisters Esme, Katy, and Ronnie are smart, talented, and gorgeous, and better yet . . . all three are witches. They have high school wired until the arrival of two new students. The first is Norman, who is almost eight feet tall and appears to be constructed of bolts and mismatched body parts. Despite his intimidating looks, Esme finds herselfA novel of love and monsters. Sisters Esme, Katy, and Ronnie are smart, talented, and gorgeous, and better yet . . . all three are witches. They have high school wired until the arrival of two new students. The first is Norman, who is almost eight feet tall and appears to be constructed of bolts and mismatched body parts. Despite his intimidating looks, Esme finds herself strangely -- almost romantically -- drawn to both his oversized brain and oversized heart.The second new arrival is Zack, an impossibly handsome late transfer from the UK who has the girls at school instantly mesmerized. Soon even sensible Esme has forgotten Norman, and all three sisters are in a flat-out hex war to win Zack. But while the magic is flying, only Norman seems to notice that students who wander off alone with Zack end up with crushed bones and memory loss. Or worse, missing entirely.Hearts & Other Body Parts is a wickedly addictive novel about love, monsters, and loyalty. And oh yeah, a Japanese corpse-eating demon cat....

Title : Hearts & Other Body Parts
Author :
Rating :
ISBN : 9781338030730
Format Type : Hardcover
Number of Pages : 342 Pages
Status : Available For Download
Last checked : 21 Minutes ago!

Hearts & Other Body Parts Reviews

  • jv poore
    2019-04-15 14:03

    Fast-paced and fabulously fun, Hearts & Other Body Parts is a freaky fusion of folklore that completely rocks my socks. Fantasy, science-fiction and a bit of magic combine to capture, then carry you along the remarkable ride. With the emphasis on “science”, some of this fiction feels frighteningly plausible. The three sisters that center the story are quintessential siblings in the best ways possible. Unique enough for interesting exchanges, their common ground allows them to create a formidable front when needed. Norman, the new kid (whose full name is spectacularly perfect) is a gentle giant—in the most literal sense—but, his size is the least shocking attribute of his appearance. Generally, students in small town schools divide into two groups when a new kid arrives: instant fans seeking something different or rowdy ruffians refusing change. Not so when Norman enters the picture. All eyes focus on him, the same expression on every face. Mouths hang open in wonder, revulsion and fear. When Esme joins Norman at the lunch table on his first day, he knew things would be different here; but even his peculiar past could not have prepared him for what was coming.Zack erases Norman’s new-kid status and creates a fandom in the student body. Girls surround Zack like fog, floating on his every word. Intelligent as well as wise, Norman is not captivated by Zack’s charms; instead he is suspicious. Reports of missing girls convince Norman that Esme and her sisters, who have absolutely abandoned him to hover around Zack, are in imminent danger. Norman can’t face Zack alone, but the bullies that once taunted him may not be much back-up…..even with the reluctant aid of a demon cat. This review was written for Buried Under Books by jv poore.

  • Jennifer Sommersby
    2019-03-31 14:00

    Universal monsters -- like you've never seen them before. I was both awed and intimidated reading this book, when I wasn't howling at the humor. Bloom knows a lot about a lot of stuff, and the depth of character and plot reflects this delightfully. Hearts & Other Body Parts will be one of those rare specimens I will actually read *again* -- there's just so much going on, all of it fun. Being a closet romantic, I had high hopes for Esme and Norm ... no spoilers here ... but with a cat like Kasha, I might consider converting to dogs. (Okay, that will never happen. Please don't tell my cat I said that.)[Note: You'll see -- Kasha is sort of a pain but Bloom has given him this multifaceted personality construct that makes the reader hope he'll actually be the good guy after all (yes, still talking about the cat). Like, you hate him but you love him? How do authors DO that? /end note]My question to Bloom: How do you know so much about herbals and plants and Wicca and spells and magic and demons and science and medicine and neurohormones and how does a person have THAT MUCH SPACE in his head? Whatever the answer, the result makes for a better book -- which is a thumbs-up-all-around situation for readers like me.Looking forward to this book launching itself into the hands of the reading public. It's like nothing you've ever read before, even if the monsters feel familiar. Bonus: It's damn bloody funny, and Bloom's dialogue sings.Hearts is a fantastic, deep, UNIQUE, compelling, layered, intelligent story. I heartily recommend.

  • Ja
    2019-04-22 10:41

    This is one of the books I read about in a recommendation of new releases and was immediately excited about. It just sounded like something fun. Witches, a monstrously big guy whose smart and good hearted, a cute guy with a suspicious sun allergy who may or may not be disappearing girls and a talking demon cat. I was in. It’s a cartoonish kind of world making me think of Buffy. Esme and her two sisters get into a small witch war throwing spells at one another to help them get the attention of the too cute guy who comes to town. The only one who seems to know something bad is going down is friend Norman who bears a striking resemblance to a certain monster Frankenstein built so no one is paying attention to him. It’s not something for everyone, but it has a lot of heart and a little bit of dark because it does borrow from these known characters from classic horror stories. Think of a super cool girls room, pink on the inside but black around the edges and you can start to imagine what walking inside this book is like. It's in my top ten of books I've read so far this year because it is something a bit different from the YA that's out there.

  • Elisquared
    2019-03-23 11:52

    Hearts & Other Body Parts may seem on the outside to be a serious supernatural tale, but crack open the pages and you have a humorous mash-up (dare I say, a monster mash) of classic horror creatures set in the scariest place of all: high school.Witches, vampires, and Franklin Norman Stein (also known as Frank N. Stein...get it?) come together to form one crazy journey through the trials of the heart, and the trials of attempted murder. Now, that may sound like the serious supernatural tale, but with the story chock full of campy humor, the death doesn't seem so serious.There's the classic love...quadrilateral...between the three Silver sisters, and the second newest boy at school, the dashing Zach Kallas. But little do the sisters know Zach is placing them under his thrall, priming them to be the next meal for himself and his Master. Yeah, those pesky vampires, always trying to suck your blood. But Norm is not just a mild-mannered giant, and so the story goes.Of course, there is the problem of the corpse-eating cat, but you'll have to discover that for yourself.Delightfully cheestastic, but with a heart-filled plot, Hearts & Other Body Parts is a fun, hilarious read, sure to brighten up your day with hexes, murder, and the occasional demon cat.

  • Sarah
    2019-04-09 16:06

    I loved the entire dynamic between witches, vampires, and Norman the human frankenstein creation. It was a completely reimagined story and I enjoyed it from the start. I wish there had been a little more Norman in the story, but I really enjoyed it. Perfect for those looking for a new vampire or witch story.

  • Gerard Villegas
    2019-04-12 10:53

    This definitely rates high in my 'bad books' category especially after reading the premise of movie monster tropes from a group of witches, Frankenstein's monster, a vampire and even a demon cat which easily could be a B-film straight to video plot or something you'd find on the SyFy channel next to Sharknado or Dinocroc vs. Supergator (it's real movie, look it up). Imagine me reading this campy, craptastic YA book that combines all the fanfiction elements of a Boris Karloff movie mixed with the horrendous teen angst of Twilight or Beautiful Creatures. Once the movie monster go emo, you know you're in for some wonderful terrible storytelling. All you need now is a Chuck Tingle horny tentacle getting some loving and you would've hit comedy gold!In Hearts, we're introduced to three teenage sisters who happen to be witches. No, this ain't Charmed even though they have a huge spellbook and try to save the world with their powers. Again, this isn't Charmed, despite the fact that they get chased by evil monsters and have relationship soap opera problems. Again, this isn't Charmed. It's Sabrina, the Teenage Witch because one of the girls has a demon talking cat. Hence, this makes it a comedy.Enter new high school student Norman who is tall, huge, and has mixed up body parts. He is referred to as Frankenstein even though he is a self-described pacifist and braniac. Apparently, his peers accept the fact that he is normal despite the apparent disfigurement. We are to assume that everyone is use to have a walking corpse with bolts in his neck think this is normal. Okay, I'll go with it. Also, ignore the fact that that he sewn together and that nobody notices. Sure, that's going to pass. But, Frankenstein's monster is very emo and he is displaying some teenage individuality. The readers are going to buy this! Sure.Toss in a serial killing vampire as the main conflict and just about everything hits the fan and causes a huge mess in the plot. However, I'm not looking to this as a serious read so all the craptastic scenarios kind of work in this case. It's not the strongest device to use but at least it sets the tone that this is going to be one hell of a guilty pleasure.To sum up Hearts and Other Body Parts, it's a hilarious guilty pleasure that you can't take seriously. It's poorly conceived. It's superficial. And it's unoriginal. Still, people will read it especially after they hear the theme song."Monster, Monster High Monster highMonster, Monster HighCome on, don't be shyMonster HighThe party never dies"...

  • Lj Ducharme
    2019-03-27 10:07

    YA monters with a new take. Lots of funny moments. Great first time out. I can't wait to see what Mr. Bloom writes next.

  • Stacee
    2019-04-11 08:06

    1.5 stars?I was all over this book. I loved the synopsis and the cover and couldn't wait to read it. Sadly, I found it a bit lacking.I couldn't quite get comfortable with the narration. It follows a few people, but they all sounded the same. The only difference is that Zack had an accent and used British slang. All three of the sisters were described only by their attributes. Veronica was only beautiful, Katy was only clever, Esme was only level headed. They couldn't all be those things.Plot wise, there were full pages of info dump-y material and I didn't find anything to root for. I was intrigued enough to keep reading, but I'm not entirely sure why I did. **Huge thanks to Scholastic and Edelweiss for providing the arc free of charge**

  • Allison
    2019-03-26 09:05

    I really enjoyed this book! It was fast paced, and an easy enjoyable read. It's hard to find a great young adult book these days that isn't filled with foul language and sex. This book fits the mark. It has an interesting plot, and characters young adults can relate to.

  • ♫ gabi ♫
    2019-03-29 09:06

    (OFFICIAL REVIEW THAT I HAVE EVER DONE ON MY ACCOUNT! SO PLEASE READ) 4.5***Where do I begin? I wasn't quite sure what I was getting into other than it was a YA Fantasy novel about witches. I'm normally not into books like that but I think this novel might've changed that.It started off with a lot happening. The characters just weren't fully connected to each other or the story. But around 70 pages in things started making more sense. Plus near the end, everything just fell right into place like it needed to be. This book is full of love, family, and magic. I greatly enjoyed the characters, the plot, and the ending. One thing that really pissed me off though was for sure the villainous Japanese Corpse Eating cat, Kasha. Man, he was ruthless and just tryna eat everyone's soul. The dialogue greatly flowed through this entire book, though sometimes there were places where one person would talk for about 3 pages, that was a little extra if you ask me. I highly recommend this book as a must read for 2018.

  • Susan
    2019-04-17 14:50

    This book was either going to be really good or really bad. Thankfully it was awesome and I had a ton of fun reading it! It was much more clever than I was anticipating and really funny. The story was so creative and totally flipped the usual vampire tale on it's head. I loved the three witchy sisters and their dynamic. I loved Norman the monstrous new boy in school. Most of all I loved Kasha who needs no description. As a cat lover/servant who opens the cans I found him to be a very believable character. The ending seems to have left room for a sequel so I'm hoping to see the Silver sisters again in further hijinks!

  • Gretchen Torres
    2019-03-23 10:59

    Totally did not know what to expect for this one, but I needed a book that had rhyming words in the title for a challenge. So glad I picked this book. Very fun and creative.

  • Brittany
    2019-04-01 10:41

    Witty, funny, I laughed out loud at times! Witches, vampires, a play on Frankenstein and his creation, a demon cat. I just LOVED this book. I took my time reading it because I didn't want it to end! I was thoroughly entertained by this book and I look forward to more from Bloom.

  • Sharon Viall
    2019-03-27 12:02

    Norman is a big kid almost 8 feet tall. He is not a very good looking boy and has bolts out the side of his head and has a limp. Esme, Katy and Ronni are witches. They keep that to themselves. Then a Vampire named Zake comes into play. They all go to to High School together. All the girls fall in love with Zake and no one knows he's a Vampire. Girl start to disappear and there is a Murders and a fire is set. The Sister's are always trying to one up each other so they can be the one that Zake will love. They put spells and haxs on each other. There is also a Japanese corpse-eating demon cat. It's a Cute book. If you want an entertaining book this is one you will love to read.

  • Paul
    2019-03-28 13:57

    I made it halfway through the second chapter and decided this just wasn't for me. I didn't click with the style, I found the use of "attractive" as the only adjective to describe a female character off-putting, and in the end I was 30 pages in and couldn't have cared less what was happening. Maybe it got better; I hope it did! But life is too short for me to try to find out.

  • Tyrenny Hidy
    2019-04-04 13:44

    This book is a super creative mishmash of my favorite YA tropes. It does have a lot of heart though, and Esme is super relatable. Four solid stars for this one. One thing really bugged me though, is a typo not far into the book - we *peel* a banana, not *peal* a banana.

  • Carolyn
    2019-03-26 08:41

    I really loved this book. It was immensely entertaining and a fast read - two things that I really like in a book!! I do not want to disclose too much of the plot (although others have done so) but suffice to it say that a common love interest pits three Wiccan sisters against each other. The protagonist, who is the eldest sister, fights very hard against powerful forces to clear her vision and be able to see love in its truest form, and to help her younger sisters do the same. There is biting and smiting, kissing and dissing, spells and smells, kidnapping and catnapping - all of this fused with love, family and friendship. It cooks up a potboiler of suspense, wit, magic, romance, life lessons and zaniness. I couldn't put it down, and I didn't want it to end. Sequel, please?

  • Eden Grey
    2019-04-04 14:59

    Not 5 stars because it got kind of...lengthy and repetitive near the end, but I give Kasha 100/5 stars every day of the week. If anyone is considering reading this or is on the fence, please just read it for the demon cat Kasha.

  • Beth
    2019-03-29 10:40

    Good. The beginning was a little rough, I'm not really crazy about sisters being mean to each other. But a good combo of Frankenstein and vampire. And witch. And demons. And the value of using your brain

  • Shea
    2019-04-06 13:03

    I was really hesitant about reading this book. I kept going back-and-forth on whether or not I should pick it up, but I finally decided I was going to try it. I'm so glad I did! It was an out-of-the-box story and it kept me on my toes.

  • Megan
    2019-04-12 11:40

    I needed this so badly. A fun, summer escape read. This is paranormal romance along the lines of Hold Me Closer, Necromancer and Evil Librarian.

  • Jesse Nicholas
    2019-03-26 14:10

    DNF' at 35%Just not for me.

  • Barbara
    2019-03-31 11:01

    Although I became a little bored after the demon entered the picture, I found the idea of three high school sisters lusting after the same guy rather promising. The fact that the object of their affections is a somewhat soft-hearted vampire, Zack, who has recently arrived from the United Kingdom with his equally-charming father, complicated things. All three sisters, Esme, Katy, and Veronica have talents of their own, and all three are witches with some skills in casting spells. When Zack immediately mesmerizes the females in his new high school, and the sisters begin fighting for his attention, readers will know things are not going to turn out well for anyone. But falling in love with Zack is a deadly proposition, something the siblings refuse to acknowledge. Even the practical sister, Esme, can't resist his charms, refusing to listen to the admonitions of her new friend, Norm Stein, an oversized young man whose body is stitched together from other body parts in a Frankenstein's monster sort of fashion. As Nor tries to convince Esme to return to her senses, a demon cat named Kasha seems to be leading her astray. Downright creepy in some respects, the book is also unexpectedly filled with humor as well. Although ultimately there are too many elements introduced and a very absent father on the part of the Silvers' dad, this still marks a promising debut. The book kept me turning the pages eagerly, and will appeal to middle grade readers, especially those enamored with witchcraft and vampires.

  • Scott C
    2019-04-16 15:41

    “Hearts” is funny, macabre, witty, well written and has a wicked innocence that makes it a very enjoyable read. The characters are easily identifiable as individuals we all know or knew and nearly all of us have had a demon cat in our lives, at one time or another. Our demon cats may not have eaten our faces but we know they would have if they could have. If you have a teenager who likes to read things other than text messages or if you just wish to escape into your high school soul for a few hours, I suggest you pick up this very creative publication.

  • Ewa-lotta Neander
    2019-04-02 13:51

    DNF - boring, lame characters, idea cool but poorly executed.

  • Feleesia Cunningham
    2019-04-04 11:51

    If you are a fan of fantasy and romance, Hearts & Other Body Parts, is the perfect book to read!!! I love how Ira Bloom, the author of the book, smashed romance and monsters together to get that explosiveness of truth at the end, “We can choose who we love”. I would recommend this book to mainly girls because it can relate to them more than boys.(Not including monsters of course) I enjoyed reading Hearts & Other Body Parts and I hope other girls or guys do as well.

  • Susan
    2019-04-15 09:57

    So I realize that the vampire hormones were affecting Esme and her sisters, and that's the in-story reason for why they couldn't resist or really help themselves. But at the same time, Bloom is the one making that rule. He created three witches, talked about how powerful they were, and then showed them helpless against the villains. So annoying. Even the deus ex demon ending--by the time Kasha has the older vampire on the ground and helpless, Esme ought to be able to find a way to decapitate him and burn the flesh off. She was there when Dr. Stein talked about the vampire in Europe and how he was permanently stopped. But no, she's totally forgotten that, even to the point that she can't use it as a bargaining chip against Kasha to save her soul. She's been pigeonholed as the clever one, so she has to use legalese (learned to bond with her daddy) to win.Shikker the demon lawyer is an uncomfortable bundle of Jewish stereotypes. Nick, two seconds after admitting he's gay, comments on Esme's shoes... Are you serious? Speaking of Nick being gay, doesn't that mean he should be irresistibly drawn to Zach? And statistically speaking, some of the girls at school should be lesbians, and therefore immune to the vampire's charms. But this is a world of hard-line, traditional gender roles, with no deviation from the damsels in distress storyline. I mean, how do Katy and Veronica feel about Zach being left alive? Are they still fighting over him? We'll never know.Also, it's so creepy that the super-hot sister is the youngest and only 14.

  • Annalise
    2019-03-28 10:01

    The YA novel Hearts and other Body Parts by Ira Bloom was immensely satisfying for an urban fantasy lover such as myself to read. It featured vampires, witches, a take on Frankenstein’s monster, and, of course, the ever lovable, yet diabolically evil demon cat Kasha (so basically a normal cat). Yet, somehow, Ira Bloom managed to weave these characters into a complex and completely interrelated story with the dual morals of “Don’t trust the new kid who everyone is mysteriously falling in love with” and “learn how to lawyer your way out of accidentally selling your soul to a Yiddish speaking demon”.The plot of this book engaged me, however I was pleasantly surprised by how much the characters hooked me as well. The author didn’t just define the characters based on what they were so much as by who they were, which is very much appreciated in a genre where supernatural related stereotypes often occur (hot, dark, and brooding vampires, quirky and unpopular witches, big and dumb zombies). In fact, this book was, in large part, about being seen for who you are rather than what you are and what you look like. The only critique I have to give is that each of the characters clearly excelled at one thing, and was often defined by that one thing. While that didn’t make dislike any of the characters, in fact it helped me get a sense of who they were, the characters would have been slightly more dynamic had they been given a larger and more diverse set of strengths and weaknesses. But I digress.What made me truly love this book, besides the Japanese corpse eating demon cat, was the situation with the love interest. He wasn’t beautiful, but he was smart, and caring, and a good friend. However, just like in real life, sometimes that isn’t enough. I love how Ira Bloom didn’t shove the message of “it’s what’s inside that counts” down our throats, yet at the same time gave us a natural connection between two people that is both realistic and gratifying. I can’t say more without spoiling the book, but suffice it to say, the ending was satisfying.This book definitely has darker elements within it, yet remains a fun and enjoyable read. I highly recommend it to teen urban fantasy lovers, and hope a sequel is in the works!To read more reviews, visit my blog:

  • Leland Briedis
    2019-04-10 13:00

    This was one of the laugh-out-loud funniest books I've read in a long time. It's a sci-fi, fantasy, horror mash-up that satirizes high school brilliantly. The three witch sisters and their lively, loving, volatile relationships rang true. And what a clever way to bring back Frankenstein's "monster". And the lawful-evil talking demon cat; involved in quite possibly the funniest contract negotiation ever! I hope Ira Bloom publishes another book soon, because he is a funny, funny man.

  • Meganヽ(`Д´)ノ HULKSMASH
    2019-04-13 15:40

    This book was funny and cute but it was a bit shallow with character emotions and had only like 30 pages of the main protagonist / antagonist battle. I would read more of his work though.