Read Freaks I've Met by Donald Jans Online


Spokane, Washington, is nearly perfect for most people, but Jack Fitzpatrick is not one of them. Hours after graduation and armed with his final paycheck from his nemesis, Jack heads for Southern California. Dreams are a dime a dozen in the City of Angels. Broke, barely scraping by, and hating his life as a temp, L.A. is definitely not what Jack expected. But after readingSpokane, Washington, is nearly perfect for most people, but Jack Fitzpatrick is not one of them. Hours after graduation and armed with his final paycheck from his nemesis, Jack heads for Southern California. Dreams are a dime a dozen in the City of Angels. Broke, barely scraping by, and hating his life as a temp, L.A. is definitely not what Jack expected. But after reading "Best Paying Jobs of 1987" in Time magazine, he decides to go after the only one he thinks he has a shot at: institutional bond broker. Once frustrated that his dazzling lack of experience keeps getting in the way, Jack is ecstatic to land a job at Freedom Capital, a no-name firm with a hire anybody mentality. Pumped to be on his way to his first few million, Jack eagerly engages in the challenged ethics of his new employer. When a series of innocent events lands him in prison, he's sure things can't get any worse. He would be wrong....

Title : Freaks I've Met
Author :
Rating :
ISBN : 0578152150
Format Type : Hardcover
Number of Pages : 208 Pages
Status : Available For Download
Last checked : 21 Minutes ago!

Freaks I've Met Reviews

  • Lia
    2019-04-02 10:41

    DISCLAIMER: I received this book for free through the GoodReads giveaways.Despite scenes that have a hint of tragedy, this book made me laugh uncontrollably. You cannot read this book without thinking of The Wolf of Wall Street, but that was crass and over the top while this feels... humane and real (which is quite ironic).Favourite quotes:"I was convinced that the proverb about money not buying happiness was written by a rich guy who didn't want you to feel bad because you didn't have any.""I didn't want fine. I wanted to be somebody. Somebody with plenty ofmoney""He looked so boring I didn't dare get too close to him for fear he'd snatch part of my brain""They were in charge of the privilege of staying and the joy of firing.""Sorry, Jack. I really needed to hit rock bottom before I could dust myself off.""Those rich guys were right. Money can't buy happiness, because happiness is everywhere. It's free, like air."

  • Anita Lock
    2019-04-01 13:29

    It is 1987, and in a matter of a few hours after graduation, Jack Fitzpatrick leaves Spokane, and heads for Los Angeles, hoping to find the proverbial pot of gold when he takes a modeling job. Going weirdly awry, the twenty-one-year old hightails it out of Washington, moving in with one of his college roommates. Things go awry once again, and Jack has no choice but to find another job. Various temp jobs go belly up, and cold calling for a stockbroker leaves little hope for cold, hard cash. When Jack’s first bona fide, yet precarious, job selling bonds provides enough skills for him to quit and try for big time investing in San Francisco, Jack has no idea that he is in for the freakiest time of his life.Donald Jans spins a hilarious, laugh-until-you-cry story in his memoir-ish debut novel. Jans’ first person narrative features Jack, an adventurous young man, who is surrounded by the strangest of the strange. Replete with a colorful cast, Jans’ characters fit the stereotype of “freaks”—many which fill deprecating, self-absorbed, sex-driven roles. A few among the flurry of most memorable characters are Mrs. Pohlkiss, Jack’s infamous neighbor; Dexter, his college roommate and best friend; and Fat Wyatt, one of Jack’s co-workers. Of particular interest is the way Jans uses his cast—all foiled characters—to force Jack to ultimately do something substantial with his life. Incorporating one uncomfortable scenario after the other, Jack has to constantly re-evaluate his life choices.Jans’ writing style is laced with irreverent verbiage, which nicely accentuates the off-the-chart, funny scenes. Great examples are found in incidents with Mrs. Manchester’s (Dexter’s mom) pristine white couch, with Rockwell’s computer system, and in the unforgettable elevator scene with Fat Wyatt. Readers will definitely have to put the book down for a while to gain composure after reading that last-mentioned entry—absolutely hands down side-splitting! Chapter after chapter combines bizarre and unsuspecting situations with Jack’s desperate attempts to fit in, and become a real somebody.A great mix of comedy, set within a coming-of-age plot, Freak$ I’ve Met is without a doubt top-rate humor that not only has the potential of reaching a wide audience, but also of becoming a best seller.Originally posted on San Francisco Book Review. Anita Lock, Book Reviewer

  • Mereka Elsworthy
    2019-03-31 15:16

    I won this as part of the good reads giving away. What an amazing book well written and definitely leaves you smiling, also made me chuckle in places. Highly recommended

  • Barbara
    2019-03-26 13:14

    I won this book at you!This is a dark comedy about recent college graduate Jack who leaves his hometown in Spokane and his attempts at becoming a millionaire in Los Angeles and the 'freaks' he meets along the way. This is a hilarious laugh out loud story with a dark undertone that blends seamlessly and keeps you turning the pages until you reach the surprising end. It's hard to believe that this is the author's debut novel and I'm looking forward to more from Donald Jans. He has written three screenplays and I might give them a try. I highly recommend 'Freaks I've Met' to anyone who wants to read a crazy good book.

  • Rebecca McNutt
    2019-04-15 17:37

    Don't be put-off by its title, Freaks I've Met is actually a very funny and honest novel about a young adult's journey to make it big in life. Carrying similar themes to Tinker and Blue, it's a book that anyone can find at least one relatable thing in that they can connect with themselves.

  • Beatrice
    2019-04-17 15:41

    Unbelievably non stop funny adventures while job hunting. The time spent with Dexter and Mrs. Manchester was hilarious.

  • Betty
    2019-04-05 09:29

    Jack has just graduated and is leaving Spokane behind and he sees no reason that he shouldn't become wealthy and famous in short order. But then he has to deal with life in L.A and it doesn't seem so easy! This is a very well written, hilarious tale of Jack's life and well, the freaks he met! And there were a few! With thanks to Kirkus and the author for my copy to read and review.

  • Roberta Clarke
    2019-03-23 13:17

    From the very first page of Don Jans' debut novel, I became Jack Fitzpatrick's biggest cheerleader. Even though I had my doubts that our narrator would succeed in finding fame and fortune in LA after leaving his Spokane, Washington roots, I was rooting for him the whole time! I was charmed by Jack's naivete' and eagerness and absolutely enchanted by his self-deprecating humor in the midst of his many, many bizarre encounters. I literally laughed out loud throughout the entirety of this witty journey into the world of temporary jobs, financial endeavors, and the uproarious, "freakish" characters that Jack meets along the way.Jans' use of the character of Mrs. Pohnkiss, his condescending and haughty neighbor, throughout the novel as an impetus for his determination to forge on in his pursuit of happiness is brilliant. Her eventual comeuppance and the absolute hilarity of the final pages at the end of the novel provide the reader with a profusion of humor mixed with a profound poignancy that we share with Jack as he realizes what is truly important in life.Fasten your seat belts, readers, as Jans takes you on a wildly humorous, bawdy, and boisterous ride through a young man's search for acceptance, for accreditation, and for the resolution that we all seek for ourselves.

  • bess
    2019-04-09 17:31

    Was like the sequel to A Catcher in the Rye complete with the irritating overly-judgemental and egotistical protagonist (from what I remember- I haven't read that book for 25 years). It was funny, crude in places, always entertaining. I let the finance speak wash over me as he may as well have been speaking Russian- I thought maybe by the end I might get the gist of what bonds are about, but alas, no. It was a good read. I was left smiling.

  • Brittany
    2019-04-14 15:29

    This book was Hilarious! I loved every bit of it. I am an avid fan of humour books, and this one was one of my favorites that i have recently read! Donald Jans is a wonderful author and I really look forward to reading more of his work!

  • Krys
    2019-04-14 13:39

    Loved it! This book was very entertaining and held my attention. If it weren't for work, I would have read the whole book in one sitting. Great story and characters, and very believable scenarios. Made me laugh out loud a lot!

  • John
    2019-03-26 15:25

    Spot on details and striking moments left me wondering how much of this funny and very readable debut were true!

  • Lynn Alpert
    2019-04-02 13:26

    Reminded me of the plot of Devil Wears Prada, although via a sleazy brokerage firm . Realistic, although fiction, and struck a chord for me as I started out working in a similar era. Loved the protagonist and his inability to keep his mouth shut. "As far as I could tell, New York was filled with a bunch of Rosanne Rosanneadannas" justifying his reason not to go to New York instead of California to strike it rich.

  • Janicedixon
    2019-04-10 17:30

    Haven't read a book this funny since one of Sedaris' old ones. Even though it is fiction, there is no way the author could make up this kind of detail unless he lived it, and I loved his unlikely "nemesis" that drove him crazy to succeed. If this weren't from a small publisher I suspect it would be on the NY times bestseller list. Hoping for more from the author, his other works seem to be screenplays which I don't really understand how to read.

  • Lee Greene
    2019-03-22 09:25

    Touching, real, sad, poignant, and super hilarious at many points, at the expense of office workers that America has plenty of. Great lean, easy to read writing style. Recommended for sure.

  • James A.
    2019-04-09 14:14

    How do you make the bond market funny? The author did this, and more, and made me relive my own foibles of my first job. Kirkus called it Buchowski-esque, yes, with a dash of Hunter S. Thompson and David Sedaris for good measure. Great book for anyone who has ever had a job, or is just starting out. My only complaint was it ended too quickly. I purposely stopped 10 pages short for the night so I would have something fun to read the next day. Love how he set up his arch nemesis and how that all played out in the end. Over the top, and yet somehow completely believable. I look forward to more from this author.

  • Greg W.
    2019-04-01 17:15

    One of my favorites books of last year. Very funny, but also sad at parts, except Jack doesn't want you to feel bad for him, just laugh with him, it left me hopeful and inspired all at the same time. My friend who works at the library recommended it. Favorite quotes, "that proverb about money buying happiness was written by a rich guy who didn't want you to feel bad because you didn't have any" and "i'm not sure who faked their orgasm first, but thankfully it was over rather quickly." Many parts had me in stitches. Recommended for sure.

  • Janet Chatham
    2019-03-30 15:28

    I saw this book show up in my library as newly acquired titles, and I grabbed it. And I am oh so glad I did. As a 60 year old divorced woman who has seen a bit of life, I found myself screeching at some of Jack's descriptions, and the way he views the world. Very fast read with short chapters, made it really easy for me to stay focused and zip through it. Highly recommended for college kids just starting out, but even more recommended for older people who have been through the working world, and have met many of the "Freaks" that jack meets. From the "casting couch" to the white couch, to Hazel's couch. The narrator reminded me of Holden Caufield but more worldly, and WAY more funny.

  • Blake Wilson
    2019-03-30 13:32

    Super fun, couldn't put it down. Original disillusioned narrator kept me rooting for him the whole time! The sticker bush incident killed me. I hope an audio book comes out!

  • Robert Walker
    2019-04-09 16:43

    Won this in a goodreads book i've ever won! hands down! I feel lucky to be among the first reviewers to read this hilarious coming of age classic story of a west coast kid from a smallish town, and seeing the world through his original eyes. I gave my copy to my college nephew.. and he is actually reading it! Read it for sure. If you like the memoir style writing, and humor like David Sedaris, this is the one, IMHO.

  • Carterwilson
    2019-04-16 13:31

    Kirkus calls it Buchowski-esque, yes, but with a giant helping of Hunter S. Thompson and David Sedaris too. Laughed out loud in many spots, and learned some things about finance I had heard about, but now understand. Smart and funny, and made me think all the crappy first jobs I had. Hopefully this author isn't a one trick pony, cause I like his fast and easy to read writing style.

  • Jarroldoleary
    2019-03-20 15:44

    absolutely one of my favorite books of the year. If you like Bukowski and Sedaris and that type of tell it like it is and laugh your head off, then this is your book. Hoping the next one is on the way!

  • joyce g
    2019-04-20 16:16

    What a quirky, fun read! It made me laugh.

  • John Wheeles
    2019-04-01 14:27

    A few pages into this tale, I decided it was an irreverent look at growing up. It is, but it's more than that. There is something to be learned in the sometimes raunchy, politically incorrect, sophomoric blending of words. There is a moral to the story.If you are easily offended, move on to another title. But, if you're an adventurous type, grab a copy and enjoy something a little different. Hang in there, it's worth it!By the way, don't let the amount of time I took on this book deter you. I got really sick for awhile, and had the attention span of a gnat. I just could not read. Reading this book is not a difficult endeavor, I was just distracted.

  • PatrickR
    2019-04-12 14:24

    From the first page I was hooked, and rooting for this kid, Jack. Wishing I could buy him a beer and hire him! As has been noted, super funny, fast moving, and a style of writing that proves that superfluous description has no place in modern writing. I digress. Great 80s references, as I was definitely already in the working world by then, in a society void of cell phones and personal computers, where you actually met people in bars, or on the street, or at work. A must read if you need a laugh, or want to feel good about your life!

  • Steve Grossman
    2019-03-29 16:34

    Hilarious first person account of a sorta-angry, but very funny college grad kid who heads from Spokane to California to prove to everyone his weight in gold. As the protagonist's mother said.. "honey everyone thinks those things, they just don't say them" pretty much sums up the tongue of Jack. Sly slam on American stereotypes with interracial dating, and the "freaks" or his office meets that are keeping him from his fortune. Def recommend.

  • Rebecca Carlson
    2019-03-26 15:32

    Got referred by a friend on this, and loved it. Awesome twenty-something realistic protagonist who tells it like it is, as painful as that might be. Reminded me of when I was that age, and some of the things I saw going into the "Big city" from my small town. Recommended for college students, or anybody who likes observational/memoirish comedy. Plenty of sex/drugs and rock and roll.

  • Shelley
    2019-03-31 13:18

    Funny like Sedaris, and Handler, but painfully real like Buchowski and Hunter S. Thompson. I even learned something about finance. The twenty something protagonist and real and absolutely hilarious. Definitely recommend this book.

  • Ian Camden
    2019-03-30 14:28

    Super funny, easy to read, smart and fast prose. With a great ending message that somehow left me smiling and motivated. Perfect book for the new entitled generation, like myself, who might find themselves college educated and working at Starbucks.

  • Jennifer Leland
    2019-04-10 12:24

    Super snarky fun, and a great story with an ending I didn't expect. I was a little skeptical at first, because this is a debut novel, and indy, but it delivered, and makes me want to explore more indy books. The office photo shoot was hilarious.. because the same thing happened in my office!