Read You Need More Sleep: Advice from Cats by Francesco Marciuliano Online

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Our feline friends have spent eons observing, napping, pondering, napping, and taking notes about the human condition. In between naps, they've realized that we humans could use some catlike guidance when it comes to handling the ups and downs of life. In this book they've condescended to share their invaluable wisdom in short advice columns such as "Always Stay at Least 3Our feline friends have spent eons observing, napping, pondering, napping, and taking notes about the human condition. In between naps, they've realized that we humans could use some catlike guidance when it comes to handling the ups and downs of life. In this book they've condescended to share their invaluable wisdom in short advice columns such as "Always Stay at Least 30 Feet from a Loved One" and "Never Let Anyone Dress You." Whether it's coping with romance, surviving a social gathering, or clawing your way to the top of the corporate ladder only to realize you can't get down, the cats in this book will have you relaxed and ready to take on the world! Just after one more nap....

Title : You Need More Sleep: Advice from Cats
Author :
Rating :
ISBN : 9781452138916
Format Type : Hardcover
Number of Pages : 112 Pages
Status : Available For Download
Last checked : 21 Minutes ago!

You Need More Sleep: Advice from Cats Reviews

  • karen
    2019-02-12 23:04

    Be adorable and be in charge.cats - enviable masters of grace, confidence, independence, indifference, grooming…this book's convincing assertion is that you can learn all of life's most valuable lessons from observing cats, and when you apply these feline behaviors to your own life, you are bound to be successful in all of your endeavors. this is from the same guy that gave us all those books where pets write poems: I Could Pee on This And Other Poems by Cats I Could Chew on This: And Other Poems by DogsI Knead My Mommy: And Other Poems by Kittensand those are cute and funny and all that, but this book doesn't have time to be cute and funny. How many times have you been stymied by indecision only to watch your cat walk straight up to a glass and slap it to the floor because it's Tuesday and things have got to get done?this book is here to help!here are some sample chapter titles, to give you an idea of the many ways cats (and this book) can inspire you to live a more rewarding life: -Always Stay at Least 30 Feet from a Loved One-Keep Changing When and Where You Like to Be Touched-Personal Space Means Your Space, Not Theirs-Enter a Room Like You Own It and Everyone Inside It-Dismiss Everyone Equally-Everything is Prey. EVERYTHING.-Be Extremely Independent Until You Need Somethingthis is self-help gold, my friends!other chapters include What's Theirs Is Now Yours, in which you will learn that:Relationships are about two loving individuals coming together to cram all their things into one studio apartment. That's why it makes perfect sense to assume your partner's belongings are now yours, no matter how well or how high they hide them.andThe more you treat it all as communal property, the more you don't have to worry about breaking a few things.how freeing is that?also Just Because Others Can't See It Doesn't Mean You Shouldn't Chase It, which encourages you to make your own opportunities no matter how outlandish:Love. Friendship. Success. Ghost mice. If you can picture it in your head then you should pursue it with all your might, sometimes at speeds achieving sonic booms.done and done! or how about Rest Assured Someone Else Will Clean Up after You, which reminds you that other people have your back, even when they are not super enthusiastic about it: …whenever you do make a mess - sometimes figuratively but mostly literally - someone will always appear to clean it for you.Of course, who these people are and why they keep cursing you out will probably forever remain a mystery. But thanks to these strangers who somehow know your name, you'll never have to glance back to see what you've done or how many paper towels it involves, letting you happily forge ahead to find out what happens when salsa tries to fly.thanks, strangers! i go live the dream now! you will also discover the many ways in which your cat is like oscar wilde, except (hopefully) still alive:-Being in a relationship means being in danger of having a conversation at any moment…-Do you get annoyed when people talk? Especially about themselves and not enough about when's food?-…what every cat already knows - the world in fact does not go on without you.-Never plead, implore, or ask. That puts all the power with the other person, allowing them to demand something in return, like an indication of gratitude. And who wants to enter that infernal nightmare of a barter system?not maggie, that's for sure! this book provides tips for many different segments of your life, from the business world:Clear the Desk Every MorningInbox. Outbox. To-do list. Pens. Coffee. Phone. Computer. Whatever is made of glass. Start each office day with a clean slate by wiping the workspace clean of any distraction that can be shoved or tilted off the ledge.This will alert your coworkers that you mean business and that maybe if they paid a little more attention to you then you wouldn't be smacking all that stuff off their desks in the first place.Maintain a Schedule Inconsistent with Everyone Else'sAnyone who's ever worked in an office can tell you that business isn't about getting work done. It's about attending meetings to discuss how much work needs to get done. And that's a time-suck you can easily avoid by starting your day just as everyone else is going to bed.Commence work at 1 A.M., making enough noise so that if your coworkers live within a 50-mile radius of the office they'll know you're up to something big. Keep working until about 5 A.M., at which point you should start calling fellow employees to make sure they bring your breakfast. In between, do whatever you feel like, remembering to blame any mess on whichever employee brought their dog to work that one day.Network by Stepping on People's CrotchesNetworking isn't about making friends. It's about meeting new contacts, making an impression on possible corporate alliances, and quickly leaving before you realize you hate the whole lot of them.Hence why whenever business people gather you should leap on the sofa, look purposefully and commandingly straight ahead, and carefully make sure to step on each and everyone's genitals before exiting the room without making a sound. People will exclaim, "Who WAS that?!" between short gasps of air, ensuring they all know your name as you stride down the hallway, not certain where you are going except towards bigger and better things.to managing interpersonal relationships:Keep Sizing People UpPeople are a mercurial lot. One day they couldn't be happier to see you. The next day they're screaming at you while surrounded by the shredded remains of what they keep calling "My birth certificate! My only birth certificate!"In other words, you never know where you may stand with anyone. Therefore it's wise to keep a big distance but a close watch on others at all times, throwing off any suspicion of judgment with an expression of utter boredom that indicates you might yawn should they suddenly burst into flames. After all, even the calmest, happiest person today may be the very one sobbing over six shattered antique vases saying, "It's like you hate me!" tomorrow.to matters of self-preservation:When Proven Guilty, RUNSometimes you will do something so wrong your only option is to flee, since staying put will involve their yelling and your insincere apology. That's when it's best to reflect on your actions from under a bed, behind a fridge, or wedged between sofa cushions, believing you are now indistinguishable from upholstery.Then after an hour or five return neither contrite nor comprehending of their anger but radiating the message, "All is forgiven." They'll be surprised by your total inability to recognize your own wrongdoing. You'll be surprised to find someone else living in the house. And it is on this common ground of utter bewilderment that a new relationship can be built.self-possession:Wake Up Each Morning As If You Did Absolutely Nothing Wrong the Day BeforeIf you can get out of bed and walk into a scene of utter destruction that clearly has your prints everywhere on it, if you can look at the very things you dangled from just the prior evening before screws and fastenings gave way, if you can actually climb over someone on their knees, picking up the shattered remains of their once cherished possessions and cheerfully sit expectantly at the table with a beaming smile and a hungry stomach, then yours will be a life without a stress or second guesses.and the importance of rewarding yourself after you've spent all day impressing the world with your badassery:Make Time to Enjoy Yourself. Thoroughly.Some days you will run and run and run and run and run and run and run in circles and just stop, never knowing what the hell all that running was about. And you will call those days "weekdays."And on those hectic days it's important to occasionally stop, take a breath, and whip out your hind limb so you can lick yourself like you're made of ice cream down there. After all, we all have to make our own fun.but the most important lesson here is perception and presentation - it's all about the words you use to frame your own narrative. always spin a criticism into an admirable quality and you'll have them all emulating you (and cats) in no time. Indecision Shows that You're Thinking!You want to stay in. You want to go out. You want to stay in. You want to go out. You want to stay in. You want to put your foot in mayo. You can entertain numerous, often conflicting ideas at the same time because you're a thinker. You're an intellectual. And you know the longer you take your time deciding, the longer everything remains a possibilitynow i have to go clean up a mess that someone made.

  • Florencia
    2019-01-24 16:21

    In the middle of this solemn atmosphere of important Russian and French writers, I just need to thank Goodreads for this recommendation. I forgot about this author and his adorable and always entertaining books. He truly understands cats and their canine slaves. And poetry! Oh, I must have this one. By the way, I just love the fact it has been also labeled as a self-help book...

  • Kimberly
    2019-01-20 22:23

    Really cute book! This one is a keeper for the shelf. Also a great book for a coffee table for others who visit you to thumb through. Loaded with lots of fun advice from kittys. Love the pics too. Beautiful book for the cat lover!!

  • Bill Lynas
    2019-01-26 15:06

    An amusing little book that shows you when it comes to good advice your cat is always the best place to go!

  • Batool Fardan
    2019-02-02 21:58

    well , it's been a while since I've read a book that made me laugh. it does have great advices for different life majors like relationships, career and loving yourself, really great advices with a lot of humour flavour in it because, well it's from a cat's perspective. great book , it was very useful and I loved it.

  • Erikka
    2019-01-31 21:06

    These books are just fantastic. I laughed out loud at "Take a moment to wonder why" and "Invest heavily in string." I also laughed at the rest, but those got me. This one is not poetry like the others, but still amazing. Just amazing.

  • Krista
    2019-02-05 22:17

    This book made me laugh so much - one entry so much I was crying! A hilarious read for all cat lovers!

  • Delta
    2019-02-07 15:01

    My husband gave me this book as a joke, but after reading the first few pages I told him I would follow the advice exactly. That'll show him!

  • Minh Nhân Nguyễn
    2019-01-28 16:24

    3,5 saoTác giả có ý tưởng khá sáng tạo và thông minh, diễn giải những hành động, thói quen vô tư lự, thậm chí "lố lăng" của lũ mèo thành những lời giáo huấn nghiêm túc, mang tầm "vĩ mô" cho các vấn đề trong cuộc sống.Đây đúng là cuốn kinh thánh cho những ai theo "đạo mèo", phát cuồng hay sùng bái lũ boss sang chảnh này. Chính vì thích cái ý tưởng đó mà mình mua sách, nhưng có vẻ tác giả chưa bỏ nhiều công sức vào đó nên khai thác nó chưa được tốt. Sách cũng ngắn gọn thôi, nội dung trong đó cũng khá đơn giản, tuy thế vẫn có nhiều ý bị lặp lại giữa các chương, nếu chỉ đọc lướt 1, 2 trang sẽ thấy khá thú vị nhưng đọc xong cả cuốn lại thấy hơi nhạt.Đây là một cuốn sách ảnh nên mặt hình ảnh cũng khá quan trọng. Ngoài việc minh họa cho các ý trong sách thì nó còn mang lại sự thích thú cho những ai yêu thích việc ngắm nghía các chú mèo ở mọi tư thế từ đáng yêu đến đáng xấu hổ :). Tuy vậy các hình ảnh trong sách không phải thuộc về "chính chủ" mà là do tác giả thu nhặt trên instagram nên có phần lộn xộn, và không biết có phải do in ấn không mà hình hơi bị nhòe, nhiều tấm màu sắc rối, mang tính nghiệp dư.Dù sao thì đây cũng là một cuốn sách xứng đáng có trong bộ sưu tầm của những người yêu mèo, những ai chỉ cần được ngắm mèo, được bàn luận về lũ mèo thôi cũng đã thấy sung sướng. Và không như ở Mỹ nơi có các sách loại này tràn lan để đòi hỏi này kia thì ở VN bước đầu có 1 cuốn sách như thế này cho các "con chiên" cũng là đáng quý rồi :).

  • Traci
    2019-02-08 18:25

    Cute! Love the advice for "The Three Rules to Pure Happiness:1. Love everyone, but secretly, so people keep trying to curry your favor.2. Take everything as it comes - before someone else can grab it.3. Never let anyone rub you the wrong way, especially from butt to head.

  • Cat
    2019-01-21 20:24

    Tuleb välja, et ma olen väga paljusid asju elus õigesti teinud. Nii mõndagi on aga veel kassidelt juurde õppida. Näiteks seda, et tööle tuleb ilmuda alasti ning parim tööruum tuleb oma lõhnaga märgistada. Väga õpetlik lugemine! "Ühesõnaga, tee kõike, mis ta enne kella nelja hommikul voodist välja ajab. Sest just siis peaks ta üleval olema ja sulle hommikusööki valmistama, vastasel korral tuleks ta ametlikult surnuks kuulutada." - Anna mulle andeks, kallis! :D

  • Chris
    2019-02-10 22:17

    "If you can get out of bed and walk into a scene of utter destruction that clearly has your prints everywhere on it, if you can look at the very things you dangled from just the prior evening before screws and fastenings gave way, if you can actually climb over someone on their knees, picking up the shattered remains of their once cherished possessions and cheerfully sit expectantly at the table with a beaming smile and a hungry stomach, then yours will be a life without stress or second guesses."

  • Juliet
    2019-02-11 22:19

    There were certain parts that were really funny, but also really disturbing. There are things that this book suggests that cats do that human beings should NEVER EVER EVER do. I guess that's the point, but it's sometimes really inappropriate. It should be renamed: "Ways to Earn Solitary Confinement; Advice From Cats"

  • Holly
    2019-01-21 17:20

    "Show appreciation so your partner keeps giving you stuff" and "Don't end rivalry. Eliminate rivals." and one of my favorites, "Don't be nice to unpleasant people."All great advice from our cats. They rule our world for a reason. :)

  • Julia
    2019-01-26 22:57

    A quirky book that gives tips to inferior humans on how to reach the almost superior lifestyle of cats. The writing is insightful and reads of Cat. And interspersed with pictures of actual cats this is a wonderful book for cat fans and collectors of cat books.

  • Miss Ryoko
    2019-01-30 17:20

    Lol - cute, funny, relatable. The best part was my cat was snuggling with me while I was reading it ;-)

  • Valleri
    2019-02-11 17:17

    At some point I forgot that we were supposed to be applying these little gems to our human existence and it suddenly became a semi-comical book about cat behavior.

  • Zachary Littrell
    2019-01-19 21:08

    So, here's the thing: despite the rating, I loved this. It was a birthday gift from my boss and friend, and it was perfect (for many reasons, but in particular my well-known problem with getting enough sleep).It's a series of little maxims to live by, as described by a cat, or an asshole, or an asshole cat. The joke, though, doesn't quite fire off on all pistons. Quite a few times, Marciuliano is just pointing out things cats do, which aren't really applicable and not really that inherently funny. But there are certainly some really funny entries in here, such as:"Being in a relationship means being in danger of having a conversation at any moment"More snarky winners like that could've made this really awesome.

  • Chani
    2019-01-28 16:08

    I will start with a disclaimer, I had three hours of sleep last night and am still at my job...working with people...lots of people. I have been told that when exhausted my sense of humor leaves something to be desired. That being said, I think the purpose of the book was suppose to be advice from cats to humans. I am not sure that is really what it turned out to be but as a cat owner it was hysterically accurate caricature of cat behavior.

  • Christa Van
    2019-01-24 22:03

    There is a lot of wisdom in this slender volume including sections on social interaction, career advancement and You, You YOU! All topics important to cats. Actually, I don't know many cats with careers but maybe that is all the more reason we should take their advice. In addition to ruling the Internet, they rule our homes and none of them look like they are working too hard. How do they do it? Take their advice and see if you can get yourself a similar deal.

  • Larosenoire299
    2019-01-31 23:06

    Không phải người có niềm yêu hay hứng thú với mèo, cơ mà vẫn bị thu hút bởi cuốn sách này.Khổ sách khá nhỏ, và giở ra không cẩn thận thì dễ bị tách trang :<Thông qua việc nghiền ngẫm về phong thái sinh hoạt của loài mèo, bạn sẽ hiểu vì sao loài mèo luôn tràn đầy tự tin, hoàn toàn độc lập, thờ ơ nhưng vẫn hạnh phúc đến thế. Áp dụng được những bí kíp ấy vào cuộc sống sẽ khiến bạn xả stress, sống thảnh thơi và tận hưởng được cuộc sống nhiều hơn.

  • Myra
    2019-02-05 22:11

    By the author of I Could Pee on This. Sadly, not as amusing. I love cats, and sure, they can be (and often are) jerks. But this just got boring when page after page was about how self-absorbed cats are. There were a few (very few) that addressed the good qualities of cats, but I was just bored by reading basically the same thing over and over. Luckily, there are some adorable images. I will be donating this book and getting it off my very full bookshelves.

  • SJ
    2019-02-08 20:25

    I knew from the title that this book would be funny, but I was hoping thatYou Need More Sleep: Advice from Cats would be more like a tongue-in-cheek self help book than the gag gift that it is. Other people will enjoy it, but it wasn't for me.

  • Loan Lê
    2019-02-17 22:22

    Mình có nuôi mèo nên thấy những lời khuyên trong sách quá là quen thuộc =))Hơi nhàm chút vì có nhiều cái không thể buông bỏ hay đánh đồng giữa mèo và người được. Tuy nhiên đọc để rút ra một vài kinh nghiệm hay chỉ đơn giản là mỉm cười ^^Có 1 bạn mèo bên cạnh thực sự là hạnh phúc đấy nhé!

  • Misty
    2019-02-01 20:07

    If you view this book as a book more about the crazy way cats seem to view the world instead of an advice book from cats to humans then you will enjoy it much more. It is a cute book overall.

  • Regina A. Guaraldi
    2019-02-06 17:23

    MehCute pictures. The text, not so much. She Who Has Me Firmly Wrapped Around Her Dainty Paw was not amused.

  • John
    2019-01-18 18:17

    For Cat Lovers Only !!!!CUTE !!!

  • Melissa
    2019-02-01 15:57

    Just when you think, "why do we put up with this from our cats?" you'd turn the page to an adorable photo. Universal truths told in a funny way.

  • Debbie J
    2019-02-09 20:02

    You Need More Sleep: Advice from Cats delivers a life primer provided by several notable and smart kitties.I deemed most amusing the suggestions on handling work meetings. Walking atop the attendees’ crotches and relieving oneself on the conference table do indeed seem like good ways to kill boring and time-wasting office gatherings.The premise is clever but one wouldn’t expect such daft humor to be so wordy. Nonetheless, author Francesco Marciuliano has found himself a cozy niche of the funny animals subgenre. I strongly recommend another of his works, I Could Pee on This: And Other Poems by Cats.

  • Mckenzie Richardson
    2019-01-27 22:25

    A very cute book filled with adorable cat pictures and lots of silly cat advice. It is definitely good for a few cat-related laughs and will remind any cat owner to ponder the basic question, "Why did I ever get a cat?"I liked Marciuliano's poetry more, because of the uniqueness that format presented, but this book was still a fun read.